Re: Me and Yoda c:

[bokangavemeabeauner]

God, what the shit was that sound? His whole bed was vibrating. Did Candy leave her phone here last night or something? Christian sat up and looked through the covers until he found his phone. Oh, so it wasn't Candy's. Well, at least he wouldn't have to call her and go through that awkward scene with her.
"Hey...you forgot this at my place last night."
"Oh sorry....yeah.."
And all that shit, he hated when that happened. It was always so weird. Because they knew and he knew they were going to be nothing serious, but they still had sex and thought that was that. Okay, I'll shut up now, but back to his phone.

Who could be texting him this early in the morning? What was it? Six? Sighing, he unlocked his phone and opened the new message, it was from Storm. It was probably just a picture of her new baby. God, he already had about twenty pictures of Alesana. But, it wasn't a picture message. Reading it, he swore under his breath. She was seriously coming here, to his apartment. When was the last time she was here? When she broke up with him? Great, he avoided an awkward moment but just waltzed into another and there was no way to avoid this one.

Twenty minutes later, Storm knocked on his door. Pulling on a pair of jeans and some random T shirt he found on the floor, he opened the door, "Hey Storm." He said, yawning and holding the door open for her. "You know where the couch is. Go wild." He murmured, running his hand through his hair. God, he forgot how sexy she looked in the morning.

Shaking the thought out of his head, he looked at her, "Do you want another blanket or something? Or is that one fine?" He asked. Biting his lip, he knew what he was thinking was wrong but he couldn't hold back from saying it, "You know, you're still so fucking beautiful. Probably even prettier than the first time I met you." Christian shook his head, "I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from." Biting his lip, he blurted out, "And I really want to kiss you right now." God, did you want her to stay or did you want her to run home and tell Cameron to come beat the shit out of him?

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I stood at the front of the church, and suddenly, the music started and everyone turned their eyes to the back of the church. I frowned. WELL THEN I SEE HOW IT IS. Then, the doors opened, Nella passing through them. My mouth gaped open, staring at her. She looked fucking gorgeous. I shut my mouth, chewing my lip and smiling at her. She finally, finally reached the front and I grabbed her hands, smiling and mouthing out to her, 'You look amazing.'

The priest began speaking, and to be honest, I pretty much zoned out staring at my new wife. The only reason I realized it was my turn to take my vows was that Nella squeezed my hand. I looked up, taking the ring from the priest and taking Nella's hand, repeating the words the priest told me to say, and then slipping it on her finger. She did the same for me. I swear I saw a tear coming out of her eye as she did that.

He turned to me, smiling. "Zachary Wayne Dickinson, do you take Nella ______ ((idk her last name ooooops)) to be your wife? Through..." And then he said a bunch of stuff, but I honestly wasn't paying attention. The point of what he was saying, I think, was that I would stick with her no matter what. And I already knew that I would. If we'd stuck together through all of this, I knew we'd make it through marriage. It just gave us new titles for each other; it didn't change the fact that we loved eachother. The only thing that changed was now she was my wife instead of my girlfriend, and I was her husband instead of her boyfriend. That was pretty much the only difference.

"I do." I said.

He turned to her. "Nella _____, do you take Zachary to be your husband? Through..." I winced at the use of my full name. I'd always resented it. He then began the long speech again, and I listened to it. She said, "I do," and the priest smiled.

"You may now kiss the bride."

That was the only time I needed to be told. I grabbed her, pressing my lips against hers gently and running my fingers through her hair. After we had finished, I pulled away and pressed my forehead against hers. "I love you so much, Nella."

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I parted my lips slightly. "Christian..." I played with my hands, looking up at him. I exhaled, looking down at my feet, and then looking back up at him. "I have a daughter...and a fiancee." I hesitated. I looked at him, and remembered everything. Everything we'd done together, everything we had...it was all gone, thanks to me. I couldn't even believe I'd let it all go that quickly. And, even worse...I'd gotten over it. I hadn't even given myself enough time to recover...so it was all coming back to me now. The memories, the reminiscing, the thoughts of 'I wish I hadn't let go.' But I had...and that was that. I'd let him go, and there was no point in trying to get him back. I had my whole life in place. I had an amazing fiancee, and a beautiful daughter. How could I let all of that go? And, what's more, there was no way I could even try to get back with Christian, no matter how hard I tried. Even if I wanted to, I never could. When Nella's dad cheated on her mom, that fucked Nella up beyond belief. I couldn't do that to my daughter, or Cameron.

But...what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. It was just one kiss, right?

I chewed on my bottom lip, looking up at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever leaving you. I..." I hesitated. "I'm not even happy with Cameron, to be honest." I looked down. "That probably makes me sound like a terrible person, considering I had his child and stuff. But...I guess I just fooled myself into thinking that I was happy...but I'm not. I just realized I'm not as happy as I try to tell myself that I am."

I put my arms around his waist. "Just this once," I stammered, standing on my tippy toes and softly brushing my lips against his, immediately feeling those damn butterflies in my stomach, like I was doing something so wrong. But at the same time...it just felt so right. I'd never felt like this when I was kissing Cameron. I put my arms around his neck, running my tongue swiftly across his bottom lip teasingly. I gasped as he pushed me against his wall, but I kept kissing him, moaning softly.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella

Throughout the whole ceremony, Nella couldn't help but smile. This was really happening, it wasn't just one of her dreams, she wasn't imagining this. This was really happening, and she couldn't be any happier. Her whole life stood a mere foot from her holding her hands. God, she couldn't' believe they'd made it this far. She couldn't believe that they've stuck together no matter what shit life through at them.

"I do." She said the vows, those binding words as the priest instructed her. Although neither of them were Catholic or Christian how ever the hell you want to put it, they still decided to get married in a church. Keeping it traditional I guess. And a month ago, Nella almost threw down the wedding plans and asked Zack if they could elope instead. Planning a wedding is a bitch when you're only nineteen.

Tuning back into the priests words(I swear to god no one was even listening to him. But whatever guys), he finally said the words her and Zack had been waiting what seemed like forever for. 'You may kiss the bride.' Nella smiled and laced her arms around Zack's neck, pulling him closer to her for a kiss. But this kiss meant so much more than any other kiss they had on his couch, at the beach, anywhere. This was their first kiss as husband and wife. "I love you too, Zack." Nella murmured, giving him another light kiss.

They walked back down the isle, this time with each other, and looked at everyone screaming 'Congratulations!' at them. Nella and Zack knew a majority of them thought it was a really bad idea to get married this young, however, they all knew all the shit they had been through together and they still came out loving each other no matter what. That's why they were so good together. You only find someone like that in a life time, and if you lose them, you're screwed. That day, on that alter, Nella swore to herself that she would never let Zack get away from her again. (omg that sounded so CREEpy)

After parties were where all the real fun was at, dancing, eating, socializing. There was only one dance that Nella was looking forward to, and, was kind of nervous about. Her and Zack's first dance as a married couple. It was when the newly weds got out on the dance floor(no one else) and danced to 'their song.' Frankly, a month ago when her and Zack were planning their wedding, they didn't have that song that everyone else did. So, she let Zack chose it. Hopefully, he didn't pick a song he'd regret.

Walking out on the dance floor with Zack, she bit his lip. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she laced her arms around his neck. "What song did you pick?" Nella whispered, looking up at him. Zack just smiled to himself and said, "You'll see." Then, Sleeping with Siren's acoustic version of 'If I'm James Dean then You're Audrey Hepburn' started playing and Nella couldn't help but smile. "I love you Zack." Nella murmured, laying her head against his chest.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Christian

Christian felt like he was on fire, Out of all the other girls he'd been with, the only who ever made him feel like this was Storm. Everywhere she touched him, he felt like he was burning- in a good way. He knew it was wrong, he knew this would mess up everything Storm had going for her, but he couldn't help it. Christian wanted he from the very fist day he met her and he still wanted her now. Not some douche like Cameron was going to stop him from it, but, in the pit of his stomach, Christian knew taking Storm away from her kid like this? That made him feel twice as guilty.

Pulling away, Christian hesitated, but all he could think about was how great it was to have Storm back in his arms, having her lips on his. He wasn't thinking straight, and he didn't want to, Christian lifted Storm up by the hips so she could wrap her legs around his waist. If they were going to go this far, they might as well go all the way.What was holding them back now? It wasn't like she could just tell Cameron 'He kissed me, I tried to push him away..' Because she wasn't. She didn't want him to stop, Christian could tell by the way she kissed him. She wanted this almost as much as he did.

Carrying her to his room, come on you know the couch isn't that comfy like pls, he laid her down on his bed and pulled away to look at her. Christian bit his lip, "God, you're so fucking perfect." He murmured, leaning down and trailing kisses along he neck to her shoulder, "Are you sure you want to do this? There's no going back you know.."

[ofmiceandbrynne]

((CANT GET A PICTURE ON HERE BC IM POSTING FROM MY PHONE BC ILYSM.))
((THAT WOULD ALSO BE THE REASON IF MY POSTS ARE TERRIBLE.))


I put my arms around Nella's waist, holding her close to me. She wasn't just my girlfriend anymore. We were the same two kids, madly in love, but now...she was my wife. I couldn't even believe what was happening right now; I felt like I was dreaming, even. I hummed softly along to the song, kissing her head. This had always been a favorite song of mine, and it was perfect for our dance. Everybody gazed in at us, smiling. It was kind of creepy actually. But, regardless of them, I kept my eyes locked with Nella's, swaying back and forth with her, laughing silently when I almost fells over. It just felt so right to have her here. From the first day I saw her, I knew we'd be something special...and now, years later, I was holding her in my arms and dancing with her at my wedding. It was so incredible.

After the song ended, I pulled her in and pressed my lips against hers, smiling. "God, you're so beautiful." I murmured, pulling away. I stared into her eyes and laughed, then leaned in for another long kiss.

qPeople slowly walked in towards the floor, and the next song started playing: the acoustic version of "Six Feet Under the Stars" by All Time Low. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead against hers. I whispered "I love you" countless times while we danced. Before I knew it, that song had ended and we moved on to other songs that I had let Nella choose. We danced around, giggling and waltzing across the room. It was, without a doubt, the best hour of my life.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I chewed my lip, looking up at him. I felt so guilty for doing this...but it just felt so right. I nodded slowly, wrapping my skinny arms around his neck, closing my eyes and smashing my lips against his. I moaned softly, running my fingers through his hair and pulled my shirt over my head, continuing to press my lips against his. I barely had time to get my thoughts straight and think about what I was doing...

~ fades to black ~

I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair and panting. I looked over at Christian, staring into his eyes. I didn't even have to think about what I'd done. As much as I loved Cameron...God dammit, I missed this. I stood up, shutting my eyes. "I'm going to go shower...Cameron..." I added slowly, chewing my lip. There was no way in hell I could go home looking like this without him suspecting something was up. I couldn't believe I'd just done what I had...but it felt so damn right. "You can join if you want, I don't give a shit." I mumbled. I doubted he actually would, but I thought I'd offer it anyway.

I walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack and turning the shower on. I climbed in, not really caring if it was warm or not. The water hit my face and I closed my eyes, rinsing out my hair.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nutella

Nella woke up, Zack's arms around her and his head nuzzled up against her neck. She couldn't help but smile. Even though she'd woken up to him countless times before, this time felt different. This was different. They didn't fall asleep on the couch after a movie marathon. This wasn't her sleeping over, if she was sleeping over, she usually made Zack sleep on the floor just to piss him off, even though he came up in the middle of the night because he got cold. This wasn't a sleep over, this was real. They were living together and they were married. God, married. Nella couldn't believe that Zack was finally her husband.

"Hey.." She murmured, rolling over and cuddling close to his chest. "Morning." Nella bit her lip and leaned over to give him a long kiss on the lips. "Have I ever told you how cute you are when you wake up? I love your bed head and your tired voice..it's sexy."Nella said with a little smile was she ran her fingers through his hair. "What do you want to do today? It's our first day as a married couple..we should do something special or something. I don't know.."

Getting up, Nella through a camisole on and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. "Maybe we should go camping." Oh shit that was so random stfu I needed to think of something. Nella jumped back down on the bed, getting really excited. "I've never been camping before.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Christian watched Storm walk into the bathroom with a smile. "Okay." He murmured and got up, pulling on this boxers and then his black skinny jeans; he didn't even bother putting on a shirt because he had some sexy abs. Running his fingers through his hair, he sat back down on the bed and looked down at the floor. What the fuck did he just do? Christian bit his lip and peered at the bathroom. He totally fucked up what Storm had going for her. She actually had her life in place for once and he just made it more complicated. God, what did he do.

At the same time, though, everything felt right. The way he felt two years ago? It was the same, it still made him feel like he was on fire. He still love Storm, to be honest, he had never gotten over her. Walking over to the bathroom door, Christian pushed it open. "Storm?" He asked, he pulled off his pants and boxers again and got in with her. (shut up she offered it's up for grabbsies) Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her closer to him and leaned down to kiss her lips. "I'm sorry.." He muttered, trailing kisses down her neck.

He couldn't help himself, to be honest. Christian pulled away and looked down at her, "You had everything going for you and..I'm just sorry.." Christian bit his lip and ran his fingers through his now wet hair.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

~ zack ~

I pulled on a pair of black skinnies with a gray Glamour Kills skull t-shirt, running my fingers through my hair and placing a gray beanie over it. I grabbed a handful of t-shirts, jeans, socks, undies, hoodies, shoes. I threw my straightener, brush, hairspray & gel into a side pocket of my bag, slinging it over my shoulder and slipping on my Vans. As happy as I was to be going somewhere warmer for a week...I'd definitely miss Nella. I'd be so worried every second. I wasn't sure if I could enjoy living out my dreams while thinking about what my wife was doing. All by herself. I moaned. "Dammit, Zack, just go out there and enjoy yourself. That's what she'd want you to do." I shut the bedroom door behind me, running down the stairs and checking the clock. Fuck. I was late already.

"Nella." I smiled, going up behind her and grabbing her by the waist. She turned around. "Hey, I gotta go. But can I have a goodbye kiss before I do?" I pushed her against the wall, pressing my lips against hers and moaning softly to myself. "God, I'm going to miss you." I murmured, pulling away for a moment, my lips lingering an inch from hers. I pressed my lips against hers once again; quickly, yet meaningful. I hugged her tightly. "Once I get back, we can have some celebration," I purred in her ear, chuckling to myself. I grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder once again. "I'll Skype you once we get to the hotel, okay?" I said, smiling at her. I waved with two fingers, prancing out the door. (pRANCING OMFG.)

I drove over to my friend Jeyy's house, pulling up the driveway. Of course, everyone else had already gotten there. I grabbed my bags,
running in and then being pushed right back out by Jeyy, Aidan & Joshua. They threw their bags in the trunk, along with mine, leaving me to just stand there and wonder what the hell happened.

"Come on Zack, we're losing time!" Jeyy whined, revving up the engine to the van he'd rented for a week. Sure, it was small, but it worked for us. I hopped into the passenger seat, chuckling and popping in a Sleeping With Sirens CD. We sang along to Kellin's high-pitched vocals (u know i love u tho kellin <33456789), laughing to ourselves.

I should probably explain. For months now, I'd been in a band with my friends. We'd started it off as a joke, but it turns out we'd gotten pretty good and had gained a decent amount of fans. And, as hard as it was to believe, we were finally performing somewhere other than our boring little town. We'd finally gotten the money (it had taken a long time
holy tittyfuck) to drive down to the west coast and play a few shows down there and just kind of get the word out more, I guess. The place where most bands fuck up is not wanting to leave their hometown, and then thinking that they'll get somewhere: the sad truth is, they really won't. No band will ever get anywhere unless they get the word out.

The shows obviously weren't headliners; we were heading out with one of our favorite bands and opening for them, which was pretty awesome. I mean, we'd gone through countless online auditions and etc., but it'd all be worth it in the end. I knew it would.

My phone buzzed, signaling a tweet. The lead singer of the band we were opening for had tweeted about us. "California! Come out tonight to see us play! @FiveMilesToMidnight will be opening, come check them out!" I grinned. That had to earn us something. I mean, I cared about the music and stuff...but a lot
of people realized that, as much fun it was to make music and go all over the place, I also had to make a living with it.

After a few hours of driving, we finally ended up in California. We stopped at the hotel, parking and getting out of the car. I moaned, jumping out and stretching. I missed Nella already. I sighed, going to the trunk and grabbing my bags, throwing my acoustic guitar over my shoulder as well. I looked at the guys.

"Our show's in 5 hours...we should go get settled in to the hotel, then come right back down here and drive down to the venue and we can practice for a little bit." They all nodded, and we headed to the front desk to get our room keys, and then walked up to our rooms.

I unlocked my door, it making a tiny click and a beep, and I opened the door. It was a bit small, but we would only be staying there for two nights before moving onto the next. It was a fast paced lifestyle, but I loved it. I threw my bag on the bed, pulling out my guitar and strumming it. I sighed, thinking about how far I was from Nella. I looked down at my perfectly white sheets and sighed. "God dammit, wouldn't it be great if these sheets were the states?" I murmured, biting my lip. All of a sudden, my eyes lit up.
I reached and grabbed my bag, digging out my notebook and scribbling down words in blue pen.

~~~~

I ran down the hotel stairs, my acoustic guitar over my back. The guys were all in the car, waiting. I sat in the passenger seat, and we drove to the venue, all drowning in our own nervousness.

Once we got there, we met the band (I was shaking), and then went to the stage and started
setting up our stuff. We rehearsed our 45 minute set quickly, and once we thought we had it down, we went backstage and they let all the crazed fans in. That's when the nerves began to set in.

Before I knew it, we were jumping on stage.

~~~~

The set went perfectly. But, after our set, we still had about 10 minutes left. I chewed my lip, and then my eyes lit up. "Hey guys, some of you might know that I got married recently." I grinned, unlocking my phone and opening the Skype app. There were screams, and I scrolled through the contacts, all the way down to the n's. Nella.

I looked up at the audience. "I've only been gone for almost a day, and I already miss her like hell. When I got to the hotel, I wrote this song about her, and how much I wish she was here." I hesitated, chewing my lip and clicking her contact, waiting for her to pick up. The crowd awaited in silence until they heard her voice, and I grinned like a little kid. "Hey babe, I wrote a song for you, and I'm going to play it for these guys, is that okay?" Not taking no for an answer, I handed my phone to Aidan and he pointed my phone camera towards me. I smiled towards the screaming crowd. "This one's called 'If These Sheets Were States,' and it's about how much I fucking miss my beautiful wife when I go away from home." The crowd wooped once again as I strummed the beginning chords, and nervously sang out the song.

"I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.
I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.

This bed's an island made of feather down, and I'm stuck here alone
With little else but memories of you
On memory foam.

Visions of a brighter love,
I'd kill for one more day
To pool my thoughts
And find the words to say."

I grinned at the crowd, pausing, and then belting out the chorus confidently.

"If these sheets were the states,
And you were miles away,
I'd fold them end over end
To bring you closer to me.
Because I don't sleep at all
Without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.

I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.

This room's become a mausoleum
Filled with relics of regret.
Paying dues to every moment wasted
On words left I said.

Collisions of a finer love,
I'd kill for one more way
To tell you how you make me
Better everyday,

If these sheets were the states,
And you were miles away,
I'd fold them end over end
To bring you closer to me.
Because I don't sleep at all
Without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.

I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.
I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.

If these sheets were the states,
And you were miles away,
I'd fold them end over end
To bring you closer to me.
Because I don't sleep at all
Without you pressed up against me.
I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.

I settle for long distance calls,
I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again.
I'm lost in empty pillowtalk again."

I finished, staring out to the screaming crowd. I laughed, chewing my bottom lip. "We're Five Miles to Midnight, we'll see ya later!" I ran backstage, grabbing my phone and looking at it, smiling and looking at Nella. "Did you like it?"

[ofmiceandbrynne]

~ storm ~


I turned at the sound of Christian's voice, and saw him climb in. I chewed on my lip, putting my arms around his neck and standing on my tippy toes. I leaned against his bare chest, sighing and closing my eyes. "Sh." I hushed him, sighing, hearing nothing at the moment but his soft heart beating and the sound of water beating down on the floor of the shower. I ran my fingers through his dark hair, kissing him softly and sighing, pulling away. "I feel like a fucking terrible person saying this," I moaned, pressing my forehead against his, "but god dammit, I never realized how sad I actually was with Cameron until today." I shut my eyes, hot drips of water dripping off of my eyelashes, and then looking back up at Christian and staring at him with my big, brown eyes. "I feel like such a terrible person right now." I moaned.

I pressed myself against Christian, almost losing my footing but regaining it quickly. "I missed you so much, dammit. I'm sorry." I mumbled "I'm sorry" into his chest repeatedly until it turned to a light whisper. I was sorry for putting him through everything I was going through right now for 2 whole years. Dear god...and he was probably just getting over it. He was probably happy with his old lifestyle. And I'd just messed all of that up for him by coming back, even though we both knew I could never be with him. After all, I was supposed to get married to Cameron in a little bit less than a week. There was no way I could back out now...and even if I wanted to, I would need a legitimate reason... I kind assumed "My ex-boyfriend and I had sex at his house and I realized I'm still in love with him." No. That wasn't fair. I had a daughter, and I just...couldn't do that to Cameron. I could be a pretty heartless person, but that would be a new low, even for me. I couldn't just leave my daughter and run away with Christian. It would never happen. So I guess I'd just get the most out of this.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him passionately and running my tongue across his bottom lip slowly. "I wish..." I murmured, but then stopping midsentence. No, Storm, you didn't wish anything. I was in love with Cameron, and that was that. After I got home, this would be nothing.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella

Nella sighed as Zack slammed the door shut, saying "I love you," A little to late. Honestly, Nella was thrilled that his band had gotten this gig, they worked so hard for it and he deserved it. However, he'd be gone a week(longer if it went well) and Nella was going to miss him like hell. It had only been a minute since she heard him start up the car and drive to Jeyy's, but she could feel her heart drop and she felt extremely lonely knowing that he wasn't going to be back in an hour, that it wasn't just band practice this time. But she wasn't going to be selfish and tell him that he couldn't go. Zack loved playing music and she wasn't going to keep him from it.

Going upstairs to their bedroom, Nella changed from her pajamas into a pair of black skinny jeans and one of Zack's sweatshirts. God, I fucking love guys sweatshirts they're always super big and comfy. Nella decided to stay home today and watch movie, after all, she didn't really want to do anything else, anyways.

Nella was blogging when her phone started buzzing with a skype call from Zack. It was only around six or seven in California, his gig must've been over and Nella couldn't wait to ask him how it went. She couldn't wait to see excited he was. Zack was so cute when he was excited, he always had the biggest smile on his face that showed his cute little dimples. Unlocking her phone, Nella answered the call and waited for his video to load. He wasn't in his hotel room, Nella couldn't really tell where he was until Aiden took the phone and she saw that he was on stage. Nella almost screamed, he looked so happy.(And she was married to a rockstar, no biggie I would probably like piss myself but yk whatever floats your boat)

Shutting her computer, she put it on the table and sat crossed legged to get comfortable. Nella smiled when she heard that the song was for her, about her and him. The lyrics were just perfect and they made her miss Zack even more. When he got off that stage, she just wanted to give him a huge hug and a kiss that lasted forever. God, you don't even know how much she wished she could be there for him.

"I loved it." Nella said, the smile still on her face. "It was perfect and I miss you so much." She said with a smile as she bit her lip.

After talking to Zack for an hour or two, frankly she lost track of time when she was talking to him but she still felt like they were only talking for two minutes, Nella decided that she didn't feel like staying home. She'd end up just thinking about how much she missed Zack and get all sad again. Nella decided to go over Christian's apartment and go to dinner with something with him, She really didn't feel like making anything this late anyways.

Getting in her car, Nella put in her Collide with the Sky CD and drove to Christian's house, singing along to the songs.

Nella knocked on the door and walked right in, Christian never locked it anyways, he always had girls coming in and out and he didn't want to go to the hassle in getting up and letting each and everyone of them in(omg he sounds like a slut dont currr). "Christian?" Nella called, closing the door behind her. She heard a sound from the bedroom and she walked over and knocked on the door, "Christian are you in there?" God she really hoped he didn't have a girl in there, do you know how embarrassing that would be? He'd be pissed at her.

After about five minutes of him ignoring her, Nella opened the door. What she saw stopped her cold in her tracks. Storm and..Christian? Wasn't she engaged to Cameron? She had a kid right? What the hell was going on? "Uh..I have to go.." Both of them were to shocked to shocked to even get out of the bed and stop her and beg her to not to tell anyone, not that she would, anyways.

Nella sat in her car for a few minutes just staring at the street. The thing that confused her the most was that, Storm had loved Cameron, but a week before their wedding...she cheated on him? Nella shook her head and started up her car, starting to drive home. Maybe she still loved Cameron, maybe they just didn't have any time to themselves anymore and she felt the need to have a little fun so she turned to Christian. Or maybe he made the first move, no, he couldn't have. If he made the first move and she loved Cameron she wouldn't have gotten into bed with him to begin with.

Biting her lip, Nella walked into her and Zack's house and closed the door behind her still thinking about Storm and Christian. But she really wasn't thinking about them, she was thinking about Zack. Maybe he would do that to her, while he was down in California. I mean, she did that to him once, then again they weren't married, but still they were still pretty serious. Maybe he felt to tied down to her, or maybe he found someone prettier.

God all of this shit was hurting her head. Pulling out her phone, Nella tried calling Zack, but he didn't pick up. He didn't have another show tonight, maybe he was out with the guys celebrating, she tried to convince herself. But the thought of him cheating was still lingering in the back of her head. Nella bit her lip and opened up a new text for him, "I love you, Zack." Send.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I laughed, throwing my head back. God, I hadn't had this many beers in so long, but it felt so good after about the third one. Now, I was just guzzling them down, not even for the taste anymore; actually, Yeager had never really been my favorite taste, but fuck it; the feeling it brought on was incredible. I felt like I could float on air.

Someone grabbed my shoulders, and I turned around, yelping and chopping at them. "I'm a ninja!" I cried, squinting my face up at them and then breaking down in giggles, my body shaking. Jeyy looked down at me, raising an eyebrow. "Zack, who left you alone?" He glanced at the counter, where he saw the countless empty bottles. He closed his eyes for a moment, sighing, and then opened them back up again. "Really?" He grabbed me by the shoulders, forcing me up. I tried to pry myself from his grip, whining, but he refused to let me go. I pleaded with slurred speech to just let me finish one last bottle, but he refused, grabbing the other guys and pulling me out of the bar. I whined even more, but he still refused to let me go, dragging me out to the car and opening the door for me.

I stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the seat. "Whassatfor?" I mumbled under my breath, holding my finger up to my chin. What the hell did he expect me to do?

He gritted his teeth. "Zack, get into the car. We're going back to the hotel."

I chewed my bottom lip, staring for another two seconds. He gave me an aggressive push, and I complied, squeezing into the little space he expected me to sit in. I buckled the seatbelt, singing loudly to myself and giggling at how funny I really was. Suddenly, something buzzed. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Yelping, I began to sweat. I was going to die. What was happening? What was vibrating? I looked over at Jeyy as he climbed into the front seat, and yelled out, "My leg juss vibratedddd!" He rolled his eyes, starting up the car and ignoring me. I repeated my words, except louder this time, and he turned to me.

"That's your phone, dumbass." He turned towards the other guys sitting in the back of our van, and raised an eyebrow. "Did anybody get a chance to see how many beers he had? Seems pretty wasted to me." He mumbled, starting up the ignition and pressing the gas pedal.

I honestly don't remember anything that happened after that point. I do remember, though, being woken up by Aidan, him shaking me. I awoke, moaning and rolling over. He helped me out of the car, and he helped me as I stumbled into the hotel lobby. A woman glared at me as I leaned over and puked all over the floor. I moaned, and Aidan put his arm around me, pulling me into the elevator as a janitor came out with a mop, with a look on his face that pretty much screamed, 'I hate my life.'

Finally, we got up to a room, and Aidan unlocked the door. He let me in. "Don't break anything, okay? We don't have too much money to spare if you do." I giggled, stumbling into the room and tripping, laying on the floor. I laughed even longer, laying there, by myself. Eventually, I crawled over to the bed, wrapping myself in the covers and, eventually, blacking out until the morning came.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ofmiceandbrynne]

(((literALLY MY FAVORITE GIF EVER OMF G)))

I woke up, the sun peeking through my shades. I moaned, rolling out of the bed and clutching my head. God, what had I done last night to even deserve a headache as bad as this one? And my stomach. Ugh. I moaned, looking around. I sighed, closing my eyes and running my fingers through my hair. Standing up, stumbling a bit, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I started a stream of hot water, turning on the shower, and slipping out of my clothes from last night. From the parts I could remember, it was pretty fucking awesome.

I climbed into the shower, letting the water hit my face, and rinsing out my hair. I stood there for a few minutes, enjoying the hot water, then washing out my hair and soaping myself off. After I had finished, I turned the water off, grabbing the white hotel towel and wrapping it around my waist. I climbed out, grabbing my hairdryer and letting it blow, running a comb through it swiftly and making it straight. After I had finished drying my hair, I took out my straightener, being careful that every little piece fell perfectly. I then grabbed my bottle of hairspray, spraying it everywhere, my eyes still drooping. I dropped the towel, walking across the room naked (what I was alone oK FUCK OFF), and going into my bag, pulling out a pair of black skinnies and an Of Mice and Men shirt. I slipped it on, shaking out my hair and sitting on the bed. It was only 12:30, thank God. We didn't play until tonight at 8:30, so I had time to relax and get rid of this freaking headache.

I unlocked my phone, seeing a text from last night. Nella. I clicked on the messages, opening it, and seeing it. "I love you, Zack." I chewed my lip. I also had one missed call from her. Had something happened? Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe she thought something had happened to me. After all, after that Skype call I hadn't talked to her at all. But who can blame me for getting drunk for once? I deserved it.

I pressed the call button, and let it ring, chewing my lip. It directed me to the voicemail, and I chewed my lip. After the beep, I started to speak. "Hey Nella, I'm really sorry I wasn't able to call you back last night. I was uh...occupied, heh." I chuckled to myself, scratching the back of my head. Nella probably wouldn't want to hear about how wasted I'd gotten, she'd probably even be more worried (if that was even possible at this point). I hesitated. "But hey, hopefully I'll call you back later, okay? I'm pretty sure I won't be up to anything after tonight's show, so I'll call you then. I hadn't planned on being occupied last night, but something just...came up. You know how that goes." I chuckled. "Well, I'll call you later babe. Love you." I hit the end call button.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella barely got any sleep last night. She kept waking up worrying that Zack was with another girl, that he'd come home with her and be like "lol, I'm a rockstar now babe." or not even come home at all. God, why the hell did she have to go over Christian's? If she hadn't, Nella wouldn't even be worried that Zack was cheating on her at all. He'd just come home at the end of the week and everything would go back to how it used to be. Right? Hopefully.

Last night, Nella had crashed on the couch because frankly she was just to tired to walk upstairs to her room. Her eyes fluttered open and she groaned. She was sore everything. It was different when she fell asleep with Zack. Nella would always sleep on top of him and it would be ten times warmer and ten times more comfortable. 'Zack.' Nella kept that thought in her head and she was right back to worrying.

Picking up her phone, she saw that she had one missed call from Zack and her heart skipped a beat. Okay, so he didn't totally blow her off/forget about her(omg he wouldn't forget about you shush up omg fag). Nella unlocked her phone and listened to the voicemail. Before it even ended, Nella dropped her phone and pulled her knees up to his chest. "He was occupied?" She thought to herself, shaking her head. "That fucking liar." She mumbled, getting up and running her fingers through her hair. "He wasn't fucking 'occupied' he was with someone." Nella was beyond pissed, but honestly she could feel her heart drop into her stomach at the thought of Zack cheating on her. Is this how he felt when he found out about Aaron?

Choosing not to even bother answering the text, because she obviously knew the answer, Nella decided to stay the night at her mom's house. She hated staying home alone, every room and everything just felt so empty without someone to share it with. Throwing a few shirts and everything else into a bag, Nella walked out the door and got into her car to drive to her mom's house.

"Hey mom." She mumbled, walking into the house. "Hey Nella. What are you doing here? Where's Zack?" Nella ran her fingers through her hair and turned around to answer, "He's down in California playing a gig, I just got lonely. Do you mind if I stay here a night or two until he comes back?" She asked, already walking up the stairs. She didn't even have to hear the answer, because it was obviously a yes.

When she got up to her room, Nella unlocked her phone and went to her contacts, clicking on Zack's she called him. Just like last night, he didn't answer. Nella rolled her eyes. What was she expecting. Leaving a voicemail, she said, "God dammit, you're gone one night.." She paused and shut her eyes, "You're gone one night and you think you're some big shot and you go out with some other girl? God dammit Zack, seriously? I'm your fucking wife, I thought that meant something. Or, did you just want to play house with me for a month or two? Did you get bored? What's her name? I bet it's something really pretty." Nella rolled her eyes, and hung up, collapsing back on her bed with a big 'ugh.'

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I laughed as we played the last notes to our set, taking a tiny little bow, making the crowd go nuts. I grabbed the mic and yelled out, "We're Five Miles to Midnight, thank you so much! Come out to the merch table to say hi!" I yelled out, winking and running off. I grabbed a waterbottle from the table, taking a few sips and walking back on stage, Joshua throwing his drumsticks to anxious fans. "Fuck it." I laughed, getting the crowd's attention and throwing my half empty waterbottle out, causing a few girls to trip over each other. I waved once again, running back off the stage and grabbing another bottle, drinking the whole thing in under a minute.

God, staying out here was so much fun. The warmth, playing music, going on stage, staying in hotels...just traveling in general was great, I guess. And, plus, there were some pretty cute girls that I got to meet, and they were all super sweet. I mean, not that I would ever cheat on Nella. Fuck, that had happened to me countless times, and I'd never put Nella through something as bad as that. I couldn't. Especially since we were married.... I loved her so much. I could never give her up, no matter how sexy any girl was. Nella was the most beautiful girl I'd ever met, and she was amazing. If I ever cheated on her, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

I walked out to the merch table, already seeing a line of girls and chuckling. Geez, we'd gained some popularity in just one night. I sat down, seeing a blue-haired girl who had to be about 16 or 17 scamper up and smile at me. God dammit, she was cute. Not cute in like, that way...but...you know what I'm talking about. She was skinny, wearing a blue "Never Shout Never" t-shirt and blue skinny jeans. She had her nose pierced, and had angel bites. Her eyes were light blue.

"Your set was amazing." She said, smiling and me and chewing on her lip. I chuckled and thanked her, standing up and giving her a huge hug. I heard her friend snap a picture. She was so warm, and pretty, and adorable. I mean, not that I could ever leave Nella. I wouldn't.

"You're really pretty." I said, smiling at her. She blushed, giggling.

"Hey, can I maybe...kiss you on the cheek for a picture?" She said hopefully.

I smiled, nodding. She smiled back at me, handing her phone to her friend who eagerly took it and opened the camera app. The girl put her arms around my waist, pressing her soft lips against my cheek, shutting her eyes. I smiled, hugging her close to me. We held that pose for a few minutes while her friend took the picture. Once she had finished, she turned back to me and looked into my eyes. Her friend snapped another picture.

I smiled down at her, ruffling her hair. "It was so great meeting you." She said, blushing. I smiled, nodding. "Same to you!" She smiled, hugging me once last time and then waving, scampering away. The next fan stepped up, and we commenced the normal "You're really good" "Thanks" "Can I take a picture" "Yeah sure" SNAP. Then it was over.

We headed back to the hotel later, and I checked Twitter on my phone. My mentions were full of 'You guys were great!' And, 'I LOVE YOU.' I chuckled to myself, looking through, until one caught my eye: the blue haired girl from earlier. She had posted a picture and tagged me in it. She had posted quite a few, actually. I clicked on her profile, seeing her name: Kellan. It was so pretty. I clicked the follow button, retweeting the pictures and adding a "<3" to each one. That had to make her day.

I then saw I had one missed call, and checked it, biting my lip. I opened my voicemail and listened to it. My lips parted, and I bit my lip. She thought I was cheating on her? Where in the world had she gotten that idea? I dialed her number, going straight to the voicemail.

"Where the fuck did you get the idea I was cheating on you? Nella, I love you way too much to even do that. If anyone were to cheat, it wouldn't be me. Remember Aaron?" I said, gritting my teeth. "God, I was just at the bar celebrating with my friends. I got a little drunk is all, that's all that happened. Nothing else, I swear. I just didn't want to tell you anything because I thought you'd be disappointed since I never drink." I hung up.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nutella

Listening to the voicemail Zack sent her, Nella bit her lip. Maybe she was over reacting about all of this. Maybe he wasn't really cheating on her. But, he did sound so fucking suspicious over the phone. Really, 'I was occupied.' Anyone would get the wrong idea, right? Nella still felt like she should say sorry, but she didn't really think sorry would make up for this, he would be pissed at her, ruining his trip to California.

Opening up a new text to Zack, Nella started typing in: "Hey Zack...I'm sorry..I love you..It's just that I-" Before she could finish, her phone beeped with a new update from twitter. Saving the message in her drafts, Nella clicked on the update and scrolled through seeing that she got a few new followers and her friends tweeting pictures with her tagged in them. Nella smiled, seeing that they were pictures from her wedding a month or so ago and she couldn't help but smile, Scrolling down, Nella found something that caught her eye.

Clicking on Zack's profile, she saw a few new tweets, they had pictures attached and she opened them, partially she wanted to see if he was telling the truth and partially because she wanted to see if he was still having a good time down there even though she was being a total bitch to him. What she saw made her want to fucking scream. So he was cheating on her with a fan? A fan of all people? Nella threw her phone down on her bed and paced her room. What the hell should she do? Obviously yelling at him over the phone wasn't enough..maybe she could go down there. After all, it was only a few hours away.

Grabbing her phone and a shirt or two, Nella hopped down the stairs, quickly calling a 'Bye' to her mom who was in the kitchen making something to eat. Getting in her car, Nella threw her things in the passenger seat and started up her car and started on her way to California.

Nella got there around five or six PM, honestly, she didn't care. All she cared about was to find out why Zack was cheating on her. Why he was. He still loved her, didn't he? When he left last Friday, he kept telling her how much he would miss her kissing her and telling her that he couldn't wait to get back and spend time with her, now she'd bet that he didn't even want to come home that he didn't even miss her anymore. After all, he seemed pretty into that blue haired girl.

Pulling over to the side of the road, Nella texted Jeyy just to make sure she knew what hotel they were staying at. 'Hey Jeyy' She started, 'What hotel are you staying at again?' Jeyy texted her back five minutes later with directions and the hotel name. Sending off a quick, 'Thanks' Nella started driving again, tapping her fingers on the wheel. Nella didn't think that she was going to be this nervous. She was so scared to actually find out that she was right, that he was actually cheating on her. But the worst part would be that he lied about it.

Once she was at the hotel, Nella jogged in. The night he called her to play that song he had written for her, he mentioned that he was in room 20 or something like that. God, she was so nervous that she was shaking.

Getting up to the room, Nella hesitated before she knocked on the door. "Zack." She called, knocking on the door a couple of times. "Let me in." Once he opened the door, she pushed past him and closed the door behind her. Zack looked kind of shocked and confused that she was here, but Nella didn't care. She just wanted to get to the bottom of things. "Want to explain who she is?" Nella asked, pulling her phone out and showing him the pictures she found of the blue haired girl on twitter. "Yeah, you were just 'occupied' the other night." Nella shook her head and shoved her phone back in her pocket. "And don't say, 'Oh, I was just getting a drink with the guys' or anything shit like that. Because saying 'oh something came up' or 'sorry I was occupied' doesn't sound like a good excuse to me. You can tell me anything. It wouldn't even be a big deal to me if you went out and got drunk. God, it would be so much better if you were out getting drunk and doing something stupid like that then me having to find out OVER TWITTER that you're cheating on me." Nella closed her eyes and paced the room a bit, " 'oh, I'm not even cheating on you. I'm not like you Nella, remember Aaron?' Because we weren't even together when I was with Aaron, You can't be jealous that I was with another guy when I bet you were out looking at girls like you were the other night. I wasn't even cheating on you I was just hanging out with him he was more of a best friend than a boyfriend. But seriously? Did you get bored of me or something? Or did all this new found fame get to that big head of yours?" Nella shook her head. "What's her name? She sure is pretty." Nella ran her fingers through her hair, "And you know what Zack? If you like it so much down here then why the fuck don't you just stay her because I can promise you that I won't be home when you decide that you want me again." After that, Nella couldn't even look at him anymore. She felt like she was going to cry, as she pushed past him towards the door, a few tears rolled down her cheeks. God, losing him again? This was tearing her apart.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I stared at Nella, looking at her like she was delusional. Well, mostly because she was. Where the hell had she gotten the idea I was cheating on her? That girl had to be like, what, 16? I was 20. That was illegal or something. But I mean, that's besides the point. The point was that I loved Nella and I wouldn't leave everything behind for some girl I had just met. I wouldn't do that. I chewed my bottom lip, not even knowing what to say. She just kept talking and talking and talking...she didn't shut up and give me a chance to explain that she had it all wrong, that I could never do that to her. She was so angry, so absorbed in the scenario she'd made up in her own head, that she refused to believe she was wrong. God, this marriage shit was hard. It seemed like it would be easy, but no. It wasn't. Every time something happened, she got ten times more jealous. Geez. It should've been the other way around.

She left, leaving me standing there with my mouth open. What had just happened? She had no idea what had happened. She had no idea that, just because I was so far away from her, I could never leave her for some fan. Nobody compared to her. Just because I had posed for a picture with her and thought she was freaking adorable didn't mean that I was in love with her. Just because I let her kiss my cheek didn't mean I wanted to elope with her. She was just another girl. God, if Nella thought I'd ever do something like that to her...my vows to her obviously meant nothing. Honestly, I was beginning to wish I'd dumped her a long time ago. She was so jealous about everything. So fucking protective of me. I couldn't go kiss a girl's cheek without her thinking I'd gone and asked her to run away with me. Fuck, I felt like I was tied to a ball and chain with her and I could never get away.

I shook my head, my hair falling into my eyes. I put my hands over my face, moaning, and sitting down on the bed. "Well, fuck." I moaned. Because of one stupid picture (or five) I'd lost the only thing that mattered to me.

I looked up. Well, I guess I had two options here. I could go after her, or go pursue Kellan. Honestly, I felt like me and her could really have something other than a dumb kiss on the cheek and a picture. I mean, like I said, I didn't think about marrying her...but maybe I could just be a player type. I mean, let's be honest here, staying with the same girl gets boring after a while. I mean, I loved Nella and everything...but I mean, she got so fucking jealous over everything. And it was annoying.

I shook my head. "No." I moaned. What was I even thinking? There wasn't even a second option. I had to go pursue Nella. I couldn't let her go like this...not after all the shit we'd been through together. No. Not after I'd married her. I couldn't let all of this be for nothing. Because of one stupid mistake on my part, I could've potentially lost her forever. I mean...I knew Nella just got jealous quickly. And I knew that...I'd just chosen not to think about it. I sighed, standing up, and pushing the door open. I looked around the hall, expecting to see Nella curled up in a corner, crying or something. But she wasn't.

"Nella?" I called her name, walking out of the room. Not seeing her, I shot her a text. After not receiving a response, I assumed she'd blocked my number or something. Well, that was to be expected. I ran my fingers through my hair, running down the multiple flights of stairs and into the van, texting Jeyy that I had the van and I'd be back. I started up the engine, chewing my lip. The only way she could've gone was home. I mean...there was nowhere else she could've gone. She said she'd leave me. I drove down the highway, heading home and dialing her number multiple times. She never picked up.

Maybe I actually had lost her for good.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella sat in her car, balling her eyes out. The look in Zack's eyes when she told him off, she knew, she knew from that look that he hadn't been doing anything with that girl. But Nella couldn't help but get jealous. That last picture he had taken with that girl, the look he had in his eyes, god, he wanted her. Nella could tell, that much was obvious. But just because he thought she was cute and maybe something could happen, didn't mean he didn't love her anymore, right? Nella shook her head and wiped her tears. "God dammit, what the fucks wrong with me?" She whimpered, burying her face in her hands.

Zack had always complained about how she got jealous too much and that he didn't want anyone but her, but she couldn't help but get jealous.How would you feel if you lost the only good thing in your life? How much faith would you have in relationships if your father cheated on your mother after almost thirty years of marriage? Nella didn't want that to happen to her, she didn't want to lose someone that meant so much to her. But in the process of trying to keep Zack with her, she just scared him away. He probably didn't even want to see her ever again.

Her phone buzzed with texts and calls from Zack. "Nella, I didn't cheat." And "Nella, what the hell.Where the fuck did you get that idea" "I would never do anything like that to you." But they just made her cry even more knowing how much she just fucked everything. "God dammit, I fucking hate myself." Nella ran her fingers through her hair, pushing out a shaky breath.

They would get through this, right? They always got through it. They had gotten through so much shit, but this felt different. Nella felt..empty. Like she knew he wasn't going to come back.

Two hours later, Nella pulled up at her Mom's house. It was past midnight. Her mom would be asleep. As Nella crept in the house, she quietly shut the door behind her and went to the kitchen. She needed a drink. Frankly, she needed more than a drink. She wanted to get so drunk that she didn't remember anything about tonight, maybe that would be better.

Grabbing a bottle of vodka, Nella trudge up the stairs taking a swig out of the bottle. The alcohol burned as it went down her throat and jsut left her wanting more. She had been almost a year clean of drinking, fuck that. Nella had forgotten how good a drink covered up that empty feeling in your heart. Nella loved drowning her worries in a beer or two. Why the fuck had she given it up?

When she was up to her room, the bottle was halfway gone and she was swaying as she walked in her bedroom door. Giggling to herself, she shook her head. "Nella, you're so silly." She murmured to herself, closing the door behind her. Nella laid back on her bed, taking another swig of the vodka. "God I missed you." She said to the bottle, placing it on her night table. She couldn't believe that she was going to give this up for good. Eventually, Nella fell back into a alcohol induced bliss.

Nella woke up the next morning, cradling the empty bottle. Her head felt like it was pounding. "Ugh.." She moaned, sitting up and holding her head. "I knew I was going to regret that.." Sighing, Nella looked around her room, all the memories of last night coming back to her with twice as much anger as before. She was just so done with this whole marriage. She was done with Zack.

Walking into the bathroom, Nella couldn't help analyze every part of their relationship. All the shit she did wrong, all the shit she could have done better. Stripping down out of her clothes, Nella sighed, "I guess everyone was right when they said we got married to young." Nella bit her lip and stepped into the shower.

After taking a shower, she got dressed and grabbed one of her bags from her closet. When she moved in with Zack, she kept things here in her old room. Things that she didn't necessarily need, or things that she didn't want anymore.But right now she needed this bag, she promised Zack that she wasn't going to be here when he got back, if he got back, and she intended to keep that promise.

When she got to Zack's house, Nella quickly unlocked the front door and swiftly made her way upstairs.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I woke up in my clothes from the night before: a wrinkled gray shirt and black skinnies. I sat up in bed, groaning and standing up. After last night, I had told the guys the show tonight would have to be cancelled; I was literally so torn apart, and, as much as it hurt to have to let down the fans, it was what had to be done. I knew Nella was done with me, and I was ready to accept that. Not that I didn't love her...it was just...I'd upset her so many times. I'd done things I shouldn't have, and ruined everything, and then I didn't do things that I should have. God, love was so confusing. But we'd always made it out without tearing each other's heads off...well, this time, I thought that might not be as true as it had proven to have been in the past. I thought that maybe I just had to live and let go.

But what if I didn't even want to?

I guess that was just something I'd have to live with. With or without Nella, life would go on. I'd put my life on hold for her time after time, and, as hard as it was to face it, it was time to just let her go. After all, she had shown me that I was just a ball and chain to her. I held her back from what she really wanted. I mean, sure, we'd spent countless afternoons sitting on my kitchen floor, arguing about the stupidest things and arguing back and forth about who loved the other the most. I'd tell her that I'd marry her, and we'd raise our kids and grow old together. Talk about empty promises on my part.

I ran my fingers through my hair, stumbling towards the bathroom and turning on the shower. I pulled off my clothes, stepping into the shower and standing there...just standing there. God, I didn't even know what to do anymore. We'd been apart and together so many different times, and it was always the best feeling when we had reconciled...but now...it was different. There was that feeling of sorrow, but that small feeling of hopefulness - that maybe she would forgive me - didn't linger. It wasn't there, not even the slightest bit. I felt so fucking empty, I was all by myself. She'd always asked me why I chose her, out of all of the girls I'd ever met, and I'd shrug, smiling. Truth was, she was sweet, beautiful (much more than she gave herself credit for), and pretty much the only person that understood me. She always told me there were so many girls that were prettier, smarter, better than her, but she never realized, I didn't want anyone else. I wanted jher.

I was all by myself for the first time in years. It was really all over.

I'm not even going to lie here, I'll give it to you the way it fucking happened. I stood there and cried. Most guys would say I was a wuss for crying, but honestly, if they felt as empty as I felt right then, they'd be sobbing too. I'd promised myself I'd never let her go, no matter what happened...but I had. I'd let her go, just like that, and I hadn't even bothered to go after her.

I hesitated, chewing my lip. That was my problem. I hadn't gone after her.

I turned off the water, grabbing a towel and shaking out my hair, not even bothering to do anything to it. ((NELLA YOU MUST MEAN A LOT TO HIM FOR HIM NOT TO EVEN BRUSH HIS HAIR WOW.)) I grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans, and a Pierce the Veil shirt. I slipped it on, grabbing my shoes and shoving my clothes in my bag, grabbing my key from off of the desk and shoving it into my back pocket. She couldn't have gone that far. I mean, from what she was saying, the only place she really could go was home. And if she wasn't at her own house, then she had to be at mine or Christian's...those were really her only options. Unless...

No, I decided, She couldn't be with Aaron. She couldn't. She wasn't like that.

I handed in my key at the desk, giving a quick word of thanks and hailing a taxi, loading all of my bags and my guitar into the backseat. I told him where to go, and gave him an extra $50. He grinned, stepping on the gas pedal, seemingly not caring if he got a ticket. Hell, he saw how urgent my case was. I knew he could tell by the look in his eyes.

After a few hours, we pulled up at my house. I grabbed my bags, slinging them over my shoulder. I twisted the doorknob, and surprisingly, it was still open. Which was weird, considering Nella probably would've locked it if she drove all the way out to California. I shook it off, pushing the door open and making it obvious I was in there. I dropped my bags on the floor, heading upstairs. I looked around, seeing if anybody was there. Maybe Storm was home for a little bit, or maybe her and Cameron had come over in the hopes that I was home. I hadn't seen Alesana yet, with my trip and all, so maybe that was who was here. But...if they were here, I guessed I would've heard them by now. I hadn't heard a sound.

I pushed the door to what used to be Nella and I's bedroom open, and, lo and behold, Nella sat on the bed, gathering some items . I coughed, making it clear that I was there, and stared at her. I puffed up my cheeks, and let them deflate slowly. "So...I guess...this is it?" I chewed my lip.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella trudged up the stairs. Would this be the last time she was in this house? Her last memory? God, she felt like crying all over again but the thing was, she couldn't. Last night, she practically drowned in her tears. Her eyes were still puffy from it and her face her like fucking hell. Her throat was sore and all she wanted to do was fall asleep here and wake up and have Zack laying next to her telling her that he loved her. She wished none of this shit ever happened, and you know what? It was her fault. She was the one that over reacted, she was the one who went over the line. Hell, Nella didn't even care if Zack had cheated on her anymore, all she wanted was to have him back.

Setting her open bag on the floor, Nella started throwing shirts, pants, bras, everything into it. It was like she was packing her life away into that small little bag. She looked at the pictures on the night table, her and Zack making stupid faces at the beach, their wedding day, God dammit she was going to miss this. She sat down, bringing her legs up to her chest. Her lip started to quiver and she looked around the room. Nella didn't care how messy it was she didn't care that it wasn't much. It was hers. It was there's. And she was leaving.

As she zippered her bag, Nella took one of the pictures from their night table- the one of their wedding day. Zack sure as hell wouldn't miss this. Taking it out of the frame, Nella held it in her hand. She could almost remember that night like it happened yesterday. All the I love you's when they danced, their I do's, whispering to each other 'Could this guy really talk any longer?' Everyone told them that they had gotten married way to young, that they should have waited. But they didn't care. They had been together forever, they had made it threw so much shit it didn't matter what anyone said anymore. They loved each other. Nella had felt so right about Zack, like he was the one. He was her knight and shining armor come to take her away to the castle where they would live forever and ever. But she never thought that he would fall for another princess. Shaking her head, Nella ripped the picture in half, and again, and again until it was only bits of confetti.

Nella picked her bag up off the floor and gave the room a once over, partially taking in the memories and partially looking to see if she'd forgotten something when she heard someone come into the room. It was Zack and just like that Nella wanted to run into his arms, hug him and kiss him and tell him how fucking sorry she was. But she couldn't, she still felt that pang of jealously, that pang of insecurity that kept her feet cemented to the floor and refusing to move.

"I promised I wouldn't be here when you got back." Nella said, her voice cracking. She didn't even think he was going to come back. God did she feel so guilty for taking him away from his dream. If only he wasn't tied down to her, if only they didn't get married, if only he never met her, he would be such a huge rockstar he wouldn't have to worry about what to say what pictures to post on twitter without his crazy jealous wife getting in the way.

"I was just getting a few things, I won't be here long." Nella muttered, running her fingers through her hair. "You didn't have to come back, you know." Brushing past him, Nella slung her bag on her shoulder and walked down the stairs. As she got to the door, she turned around and saw that Zack had followed her. "You know, I just want to say sorry for fucking everything up for you in California. You could have had fun and been something big if it wasn't for me." She said, giving a short, meaningless laugh. "I'm really sorry about that...I really do hope you get another chance." Nella bit her lip and looked down. What was she doing? She should have been out the door by now. She was just stalling, she just wanted to make sure that theere was no hope of them getting back together before she totally bailed. Because once she was out, she wasn't going to come back.

"What was her name?" Nella whispered, not even looking up. He'd probably tell her 'Not this again' or 'are you serious?' Nella just wanted to know her name. There was still that small tinge of jealously, that she had won and Nella, his wife, hadn't. That in the end, someone who barely knew Zack and what he had been through would be able to say 'I love you' at the end of the night and probably not even fucking mean.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

DNt leVE M3 nELa :ccccc

I shoved my hands it my pockets, looking up at her and running my fingers through my hair. Sighing, I closed my eyes and shook my head. A piece of dark brown hair fell into my eyes, and I brushed it back up into my beanie. I raised an eyebrow, looking at her. Why was she even asking? Fuck, it would just tear her apart. She'd probably track Kellan down and kill her. Okay, maybe that was a bit over exaggerated, but still. I just knew it would tear her apart even more to know that the girl that had caused all of this...to know her name.

"Kellan," I mumbled, looking up and clearing my throat. "Her name was Kellan. But that doesn't matter. I cancelled the show tonight and dropped out of the band." I looked down, chewing my lip and letting my hands fall limply at my sides. Honsetly, that was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I had to get Nella back. I didn't even know how I'd live without her. God, we'd gotten through so much together, and there was no way in hell we could ever just throw that away as fast as we were anticipating to. I couldn't forget her like she wanted me to. There was no way I could forget someone like her, not after everything we'd been through together. It seemed like she was just trying to get out, trying to forget everything, but there was no way she could just do that. No way. Honestly, I'd rather die than lose her.

"I had to come back." I choked out, chewing my lip. "The thing is, you can't just leave me like this. I fucked things up. You've gotta give me a chance...I just wasn't used to people walking up to me and telling me that they loved me, or I was talented. It was just so great to hear someone say I was a really good singer, or just see them want to hug me and take a picture with me. Hell, one girl even cried when she saw me. It just felt amazing, you know? And I fucked it up because I went too far with that one girl. I just..." I hesitated, looking down. I looked back up at her, into her eyes, and grabbing her hands. I choked out, "I just need you. You can't leave me. Please. We were supposed to grow old together, remember? And raise children, and stick with each other through everything? God, Nella, you know I'm a wreck. You know I can't do a single thing right. Please...just stick with me here. I promise I'll be good to you. Better than I was." My lip quivered as I held on to her hands, squeezing them.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

"Kellan." Nella repeated, softly and looking down, letting her hair fall into her eyes. Looking back up, Nella gave a broken smile, god was she so tired of faking a smile. "It's a pretty name." Nella muttered, her lips falling down into that same frown they had been ever since he left. "She's really pretty, you know that?" Biting her lip, Nella looked down at her shoes, "I bet she wouldn't get jealous over everything, I bet she wouldn't fuck everything up like this." Nella sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't want to do this, she couldn't do this.

"Zack, you didn't have to do that. I didn't want you to do that. I just came down to California to tell you I was leaving. I didn't want to fuck up your dreams, you know that? God why do you have to be such an idiot..you could have gone somewhere and you threw it all away just to come home to me. I don't even know why you even came back for me all the trouble I caused you. I am so fucking sorry. I wish I never even met you sometimes. I wish that none of this ever even happened. You would be on stage, having fun every night touring the world, Don't you want that anymore?" Nella looked up at him, but he was already looking at her. "I don't want to be that one regret, that one faggot who took that all away from you. God I wish you didn't come home, you know how much easier it would have been to walk out that door and not have anyone wanting, waiting for you to come back?" Nella took her hands out of Zack's and looked down, tears started to roll down her cheeks. "I don't even know how to say sorry anymore, not in a way you'd forgive me for all of this." Nella wiped her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair.

Nella looked up and bit her lip, "I can't." She whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks, "I can't. You're no good for me, and I'm no good for you. Look what I did? Look at all the shit I just messed up. You could have been happy, not worry about me and if I'm going to get jealous or not. You could have been happy. Seeing you talk about how much you love it? I fucking hate myself for making you quit the band. I hate it that I made you do that. I fucking hate myself." Nella said, giving a soft laugh, "I hate it."

"I can't do it anymore." She choked out, "I can't hurt you like this. I can't. You remember all the times I told you to find someone new and better? God I wish you did a long time ago..way before we got married way before we were in this deep." She paused, "Maybe it wouldn't hurt this much to walk away if you had...Maybe." She sighed and looked up at Zack, "I just don't want to hurt you anymore...okay?" Nella knew she was doing the wrong thing. It shouldn't hurt to walk away from him this much if she really wanted to. It shouldn't, it just didn't feel right. She had this feeling in the pit of her stomach that she would regret it. She didn't even know where she would go if she got in that car, she didn't know what she would do and she sure as hell would never get over Zack. God, he was her everything, is, was, is. She didn't know anymore.

Biting her lip, Nella looked up, "I love you, Zack. But honestly? We both know that you'd be so much better off without me." Nella turned away from him and reached for the door knob, she hesitated and looked back at Zack. He looked so hurt. He knew just like her that if she walked out now this would be the last time they would ever see each other again.

'is it worth it, Nella?' She asked herself, 'To throw away all those hours, days, years, all of that just because of one girl? Come on, don't be stupid, he finally got even with you. So what if he slept with a girl when he was away?' Nella held her head down and let her bangs fall in her eyes, 'He could do it again.' She thought, and that was what she was scared of.

"I can't do it.." Nella muttered to herself, her hand falling from the door knob. Turning around, she looked at Zack, "I hate you..You know that." Nella threw her bag on the floor and wiped her eyes, "I fucking hate you. You're a douche, you're stupid, and I hate you." Nella looked at him, "If you ever fucking do something like that to me again.." Nella shook her head, "I will never forgive you."

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Christian squeeze his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. No, he wasn't going to be that guy. He wasn't going to be that guy that Storm was going to cheat on Cameron with whenever it was convenient for him. Christian didn't want to have a relationship that didn't exist outside of his bedroom. "Storm, I can't do this." He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers and placing his hands on the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I'm not going to do this with you."

Gently, he unlaced her arms from around his neck and placed her on the floor of the shower, steadying her so she didn't slip. "Storm, I love you." He started off, the shower growing quiet except for the sound of the pounding water against their skin. "You finally got your life in order, god, the day I saw you in that cafe? You have no idea how happy you looked. You have no idea how good I felt when I saw that smile on your face. God dammit, after all the shit we went through I was so happy that you found something you were finally willing to hold on to." He bit his lip and looked down at her. "But Storm, we can't do this. Not again. Once you leave my apartment, you can't come back. No matter how much I want you, no matter how much I'll regret this, you can't. This can't happen again." He sighed and turned off the water, "You're going to go home and make sure Cameron knows you love him. You're going to go home and marry him and be the best fucking mother to Alesana because she deserves it and you know she does."

Christian stepped out of the shower and took a towel, drying his hair with it. This felt like every other night with any other girl. A little fun in the bedroom and few sweet words here and there and then he kicked them out for the night so he could get some sleep for tomorrow. He finally thought that he had gotten over this phase, that he would find a girl and finally settle down like Storm did. But in all honesty, Storm was the only girl he could see himself with and now that she was engaged and had a child? He couldn't, wouldn't take her away from that. It just didn't feel right no matter how much he loved her.

After pulling on a pair of pants and Storm throwing on all her clothes, Christian leaned against the door frame of his bed room, watching her slip on her shoes. He bit her lip, "If this is it, I'd like a good bye hug." He said, holding his arms out for her.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I let out a gasp of air, smiling and wrapping my arms around her. I held her close to me, burying my head in the crook of her neck and closing my eyes tightly. I had to be more careful. God dammit, I messed everything up...but this time, I wasn't going to let her go. Every time, I seemed to mess something up, I seemed to do something wrong. I'd trip over my own feet, not realizing what I'd even done until it was too late. But...Nella just always seemed to forgive me. Even if I'd hurt her, even if I'd made her feel terrible. I'd never meant to do it intentionally...but I always managed to.

"Nella..." I murmured, rubbing her back. "Nella, you have no idea how much I love you. I'd die for you, don't say those things about yourself. I stroked her cheek, looking into her eyes. "Kellan is nothing compared to you. She could never make me feel the way I feel about you. I love you." I hesitated, then pressed my lips against hers. I pressed her against the wall. "God dammit Nella, I can't believe I almost lost you again." I shut my eyes, chewing my bottom lip, and then opening my eyes. I looked down at her, putting my arms around her waist and pressing my forehead against hers. I played with her hair, kissing her nose gently.

I picked her up, my arms still around her waist, and walked over to the couch. I sank down onto the couch, putting her on my lap and wrapping her legs around my waist. I pulled her shirt up over her shoulders, tangling my fingers in her dark hair and moaning soflty. "I love you so fucking much, don't forget that, okay?" I murmured, shutting my eyes and continuing to kiss her.

~~~~~~~~ FADEZ TO BLAAAACCCCCKKK ~~

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