Re: Me and Yoda c:

[bokangavemeabeauner]

"Yeah." Nella muttered, getting up off the couch and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Let's go."

Ever since the situation with he dad three years back when her parents were getting a divorce, Nella was never really fond of airports. It just felt like you were flying away from all your problems instead of staying here to deal with all of them. Like you were running away. But, in their case, they were flying towards the problem. And, possibly, into an even bigger problem. There was no telling what would happen. If this would work. If it would make things better or worse. They didn't know.

Once they stepped foot into the airport, Nella couldn't stop shaking. All the memories came flooding back and she almost turned around and ran right back out of those sliding doors. Nella almost had told Zack to just go on his own. But, taking his hand, Nella looked up at blew out a sigh of relief. It was kind of strange, actually. Looking at Zack, it gave her comfort. Just knowing he was there, that he was doing this with her, it just made her feel better.

In all honesty, Nella didn't think this was going to go as they both has expected it to. Her dad would most likely laugh in their face and report to social services with some bullshit about how they tried to take Maria back with force, that they were out of control and that they shouldn't be trusted. Nella had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that they were just messing things up even more than they already were. But Nella knew that she couldn't leave Maria there. Not with her Dad. Anyone but him. Zack and Nella just needed her there. She was the one keeping their heads above the water. The one that pulled them out of that dark time.

Part of the reason Nella wanted to go alone was due to the fact that they were only in this place because of her to begin with. As much as Zack told her that it wasn't her fault, there was that tiny voice in the back of her head yelling at her. Telling her that she shouldn't have done that. That she was a bad mother. That she was turning out just like her father. All in all, Nella was angry at herself for letting this happen.

As they went through security, Nella stayed deathly silent, slowly walking through the airport, keeping her thoughts to herself, occasionally reaching for Zack's hand. When they boarded the plane, Nella quickly shuffled toward their seats and sat down next to the window, pulling her ipod out and putting her headphones in. Closing her eyes, Nella sighed and began to tap her feet to "Second and Sebring" By Of Mice and Men, mouthing the words to herself as she looked out the window.

Peering over at Zack, Nella bit her lip and reached over to grab his hand, giving it a slight squeeze. "We'll get her back.." Nella whispered, the first words she had said to him since they had left the house a few hours ago. "I promise we'll get her back." But even now, she didn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. Nella didn't even know if they were ever going to get Maria back. Sure, they'd get to visit her of course and see her now and again, but Nella didn't think everything would ever go back to the way it used to. No one would ever trust them, more so her, to care for Maria. And you know what the worst part is? Maria would grow up thinking that her parents didn't want her. That she had gotten in the way. That they had abandoned her. That they didn't love her. Maria would turn out to be just like Nella in the end. And that was the worst part. That was the part that scared her the most.

In all honesty, Nella didn't know if they could or would get Maria back, especially with her history. Looking back on everything, Nella regretted it. Zack had said she had saved his life, but, Nella didn't feel like a hero or anything. Already, she had put him through so much she couldn't see what so good about it. About meeting her, that is. What if he had run into another girl that day? A girl that wasn't suffering from depression and self harm.

What was so good about her? What was so good about being with her? Sure, there were good times. But as many as there were good times, there were twice as many bad times that they had had.

Didn't it get tiring cleaning up mess, after mess, after mess? Didn't he get tired of helping her back up on her feet every time she fell down?

There weren't even words to say to make up for everything she had done. There was no amount of 'I'm Sorry's' that could fix it. But, it was what it was, right? Nella just wished that she could have given him so much more than this. He could have been happy. Maria would be home safe in her crib, Zack would be on tour, making music, and everything would be perfect. But it wasn't.

Nella bit her lip and looked down at their hands, she was squeezing his hand so tight that the whites of her knuckles were beginning to show. It was almost as if she was clinging on to him for dear life, like if she let go, he would just float away and never come back. The only thing that had actually made her happy, or smile, even when things weren't so great, would be gone.

The plane ride took over three hours. Nella had fallen asleep multiple times, sometimes leaning her head against Zack's shoulder or on the cool windowpane next to her. In those three hours, they hadn't talked much. Probably exchanged a word or two here and there saying I love you or that it was going to be okay. But, it got to the point that those were just words. Just everyday words, hell, she didn't even know if she believed them anymore. There relationship was a mess. They both knew it but they were both to afraid to admit it to themselves. Either way, losing each other would be far worse than staying with each other. They had been together so long, they had become one. It just wouldn't feel the same without Zack by her side and the other way around.

After they had retrieved their bags from luggage(omg I don't know what it's call the rotary idk?????), Nella called a taxi. While they were waiting for it to come, Nella checked the time on her phone and bit her lip. "It's almost ten thirty..Do you
want to go over now or do you want to go to a hotel?" Nella asked, looking up at Zack.

Both of them had agreed on getting a good night's sleep before confronting her father by the time the taxi had pulled up in front of the airport doors. Sliding into the backseat, Nella leaned her head against Zack's shoulder and closed her eyes, sighing and playing with his fingers.

Pulling up at a cheap hotel, Zack and Nella paid the taxi driver and checked in at the front desk of the hotel. Nella was exhausted, she could barely move. Zack seemed fairly okay, considering he traveled a lot like this and barely got any sleep.

Zack unlocked the door and Nella dropped her bags on the floor and collapsed on the bed, pulling her legs up to her chest. "Commere' Zack." She murmured, patting the spot next to her.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

Once we had arrived at the cheap hotel, it was extremely late and both of us were extremely tired. It was unlikely that I'd get any sleep, but I knew Nella probably would. I was used to nights like these, therefore making me not tire as easily. But also, my daughter was in the hands of someone I didn't trust; someone I didn't want her to be around. I couldn't even imagine how fucking afraid she was right now. She was probably crying, hungry, tired. She probably missed Nella and I, as much as we hadn't been around lately. But the thing was, we were going to be. After this incident, we'd both actually learned how much we actually cared for Maria. When we'd learned that Nella was pregnant, we were overjoyed, filled with hope. When Maria came, as much as we loved her, we slowly lost sight of how much she really meant to us. And this experience really brought it into perspective. I just hoped that Maria knew now, and would know when she was older, that we loved her. And no matter how much we fucked up as parents, we were also pretty damn great at it, too.

Putting down my bag in the middle of the floor, I walked over to where Nella was sitting on the bed and crawled next to her, holding her in my arms and nuzzling her neck (idk). I sighed lightly, and we sat there for a while, in silence. With most people, it would be pretty awkward, but for us, it was beautiful. Beautiful silence, besides the sounds of the streets outside and sometimes footsteps outside of our room. I held her, and she held me. After a few minutes, I pulled the blankets over us, and we both fell asleep like that. We were just two kids, stupid & fearless. Crazy, and in love. ((yes i was trying to make an atl reference there ok)) And no matter how much I put her through, no matter how much she put me through, no matter how much we put each other through, we refused to let it bring us down. If we were to go down, we went down together. And, I did not plan on doing anything of that matter any time soon.

I woke up late the next morning. Nella had already awoken. She was sitting at the small table in our room, sipping a glass of orange juice I'd assumed she'd gotten from room service. In front of her sat a muffin which had been only slightly picked at. I rolled over, looking at her and waving. I rolled out of bed, still fully clothed from the night before. Since we had gotten to the hotel, I hadn't bothered to change. I got up, leaving the blankets as they were behind me (rumpled and unmade) and walking toward Nella, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. She put the glass down and I closed my eyes, kissing her cheek lightly.

"Hey, have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do." I murmured in her ear, sitting down on the chair and twisting her around so that she sat on my lap. I sighed and pulled her closer to me. I didn't want to leave the hotel, in all honesty. I wanted to stay there all day with Nella and cuddle with her, and watch crappy movies on demand. We could order ice cream sundaes from room service and laugh together, make out on the bed and cuddle up together like it was the middle of the winter, even though it had to be at least ninety-five degrees outside. I wanted to press my lips against hers, and tell her 'I love you' over and over until the words no longer held meaning. But, I knew we couldn't. She wouldn't want that. Her main priority was Maria. Hell, mine was too, but I just wished...

I sighed, lifting her up. "C'mon, we have to go and get Maria." We packed up all of our stuff quickly, getting out of the hotel as quickly as we had gotten there. We dropped off our keys and caught a taxi, getting to Nella's father's house. I tipped the driver, thanking him. I got out of the car with Nella, holding her hand tightly as we walked up to the door and chewing on my lip. "You ready?"

[bokangavemeabeauner]

By the time the cops and the paramedics got there, Cameron was already gone. Storm was unconscious. And Christian was crying, holding the bleeding, limp body of the girl he loved in his shaking arms. By the time the paramedics burst through the door, Christian was rocking Storm in his arms, whispering 'Wake up' and 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry' over and over again into her hair. The paramedics practically had to pry Storm out of his arms. Christian was so scared that they were going to hurt her just like Cameron had. Sure, he wasn't the trustworthy type, but, Christian would have never thought he would do this. He should have never let her go on her own. God dammit, why didn't she listen to him? This was her fault. She walked into this mess on her own. He told her over and over again that he didn't want her to go see Cameron, but she did it anyways. "God dammit Storm." Christian thought, staring at her, the paramedics doing the best they could, determining what was broken, what they needed to inject into her system, and if she was even going to make it.

When they got to the hospital, the paramedics rushed Storm into the ER shouting words to the doctors that started to crowd around Christian.But he couldn't hear what they were saying, his eyes were focused on Storm. How could he have let this happen to her? How?

Christian had been sitting in the waiting room for four hours, taping his feet nervously, running his fingers through his hair, biting his lip and murmuring to himself. How many times had Storm been in that emergency room? Because of him? And how many times has he been in the same old waiting room chair not knowing if she was going to pull through this or not? Christian hated himself. He hated himself. If Storm didn't pull through this..he didn't know what he was going to do. When she was engaged to Cameron, how unbearable that was, she was still alive. She was breathing. Living. Happy. And there was always that very slim chance that he could get her back one day. But, if she was dead. Christian would never get to see that smile, or hear that laugh, or hear those random things she thought of at three in the morning, or her cute little texts or just...her. He would never get to see her again.

The doctor walked into the waiting room. It seemed like she had been in there forever. Christian stood up and walked over to him and before he could even ask if she was going to make it, the doctor stopped him and nodded, "Follow me." He said, turning around and walking back through the doors of the ICU. Christian bit his lip, running his fingers through his hair. She was going to make it? She was going to be okay?

The doctor held open the door to the familiar white room. Tucked in the white blankets with tubes poking in and out, here and there was Storm. Christian felt the tears welling up in his eyes, seeing her like this. "Storm.." He whispered, walking over to her bed and holding her almost lifeless hand in his. The doctor cleared his throat, looking over at Christian, "She has multiple broken bones, a few stitches and bruising. She's lucky you got there when you did. Any more of that and she would have been a goner." Christian nodded, his eyes locked on Storm.

A couple of hours later, Christian saw Storm beginning to stir in her hospital bed. Sitting up, he pulled his chair closer to her, grabbing her hand in his and biting his lip. "Storm?"

Her head turned towards him and she began crying. Crying. And telling him how stupid what she did was.

"Shhh.." Christian whispered, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "Shh, shh, shh." He murmured, "It's fine. Don't worry about it. You're okay now. I'm here." Reaching over, Christian ran his thumb under her eyes, wiping the tears away. "Don't cry. Calm down. You're okay, You're here. Cameron's not here. You're safe." Christian bit his lip and kissed her cheek. "God dammit Storm. I was so worried when you called me. I didn't think I was going to get there in time." Christian shook, looking down and shaking his head, "I thought he was going to kill you. And when I saw him beating the shit out of you? I fucking lost it. I couldn't believe that he put his hands on you like that."

Taking both of her hands in his, Christian stared into her eyes, "I will never, never let him, anyone, hurt you like that ever again." Biting his lip, he leaned down and kissed her lips gingerly, "I. Love. You. Okay? It doesn't matter that I don't trust him. You just wanted to see Alesana and I get that. I'm not mad. At least not mad at you. I'm mad at Cameron for doing this to you, and he's going to pay. I fucking promise you I'm going to make him pay for what he did to you."

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella tightened her grip on Zack's hand and closed her eyes. "I don't know how this is going to turn out." She admitted, looking down, "I don't know if we'll leave here empty handed or if we'll go home with Maria in our arms, but, I guess, we'll just have to hope for the best, right?" Nella gave Zack's hand a squeeze and and whispered a quick, 'I love you.'

"Here goes nothing." She whispered, ringing the doorbell and praying silently to herself that he didn't answer.

From behind the door, Nella heard footsteps and the sound of her fathers voice telling them; "I'm coming." He had no idea that it was them. When he opened the door, if he did at all, he would be shocked. Maybe even please that he would have something to report to Social Services.

The door opened and Nella took and intake of breath, holding Zack's hand so tight that the whites of her knuckles showed. Her father looked from her, to Zack, and then back to her. "Well this is..surprising." He finally said, a smug smile spreading across his lips.

"We need to talk." Nella said, looking anywhere but his eyes. "Well, come on in."

Nella and Zack pushed past her Dad and shuffled into the living room, her dad close behind.

"We need to talk to you about Maria." Nella said, sitting down, trying to keep as calm as possible, when, on the inside, she was falling apart. It was tough having a normal conversation with someone who ruined your life. Smiling and acting like nothing was wrong when everything just kept falling apart.

"We both know that me and Zack aren't bad parents.." She started, biting her lip and looking down at her shoes. "Sure, we're not perfect and sure, I'm suffering from depression, and Zack's away most of the time on tour, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't drop everything for her. That doesn't mean that we wouldn't do everything in our power just to make her happy." Looking up, Nella stared straight at her dad, "And I don't know what you or Social Services thinks but, I would never, and when I say never, I mean I would never hurt my baby."

Nella's dad sat in silence for a moment, staring at them. "Well, you know I just can't give her back to you. This decision wasn't mine at all, it was Social Services. However, I agree with them. I wouldn't want my grandchild to be in any harm, even if there isn't any. Can't risk it right?" He chucked, crossing his legs. Nella gritted her teeth and looked over at Zack who looked just as helpless as she felt. "Dad," Nella started, immediately regretting it. The name felt so foreign. So undeserving. So vile. He wasn't her dad. Biologically, yes, he was her dad. But, he wasn't her real Nella was desperate, she would just about say anything right now just to take Maria home. dad. Sure, he had been around when she was younger, taught her how to ride her first bike, built that tree house in the backyard for her, etc, etc, but he wasn't her dad. A dad wouldn't think it was okay to hurt you. A dad would do everything in his power to protect you from harm, not the one causing it.

"I would never hurt Maria. Not in a million years. You know that and I know that." But, in all honesty, she had nothing to back up her reassurance in herself. What if one day she did lose it and just....what if she turned out like him? What if Maria grew up to hate her?

No, she was a good mother, that was never going to happen. But the small possibility that it could scared her beyond belief.

"You never thought I would hurt you." He said, looking over at her, folding his hands in his lap. "But, as you can see, people can change. I'm not the same man I was three years ago when I left your mother and you. I'm not the same. I don't get drunk every night and take it out on Cindy, I don't." He cleared his throat and adjusted his legs, "What I'm saying is, you can change. Maybe for the best and maybe for the worse and that's what Social Services, and me, are worried about. We just want the best for Maria and you know that. So I want you and Zack to go home and to think about this. I just want you to wait it out. And, if you want, I'll fly down there next week and with Maria for a quick visit."

Nella stood up and and ran her fingers through her hair, pacing the room. "You don't understand. You can't just..keep her." Nella turned to him, pointing a finger at him. She was done acting like a grownup about this. She couldn't. He just didn't understand. "You had your chance to be a father and you fucked it up. You don't get another chance. At least not with my baby. I need you to let her come home with me and I know it's not your fucking decision but I need her to come home with me. I will do anything. Just...please." By now she was begging. Something she never thought she would have done when she walked in the door.

Her father stroked his chin, "Well..." He started, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. "I have one condition."

"Anything." Nella agreed immediately.

"I want visitation rights. I want to see my granddaughter. Maybe...at least once a week. We can work it out. But I want to see her and that's my only condition."

Nella hesitated, not even looking at Zack. She knew that he was going to say no. But, this was the only chance they had, right? This was the only way they were going to get her back? Bringing this..monster back into their lives?

"Done." Nella answered, staring at her father.

With a satisfied smile, Nella's dad stood, "Well, I'll call Social Services later. You guys can fly back now and I'll most likely be bringing Maria down by the end of the week. Can't wait."

He ushered them towards the door, Zack not saying a word and keeping his eyes dead set in front of him, not even bothering to look at her. The door closed behind them and Nella looked up at Zack, "I'm So-" But he cut her off.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

As soon as we exited that house, I blew up. Like a fucking bomb. I didn't care what Nella said, or if she tried to apologize, or if she was going to say 'I was just trying to get our daughter back.' I couldn't take any of that shit. We'd spent so many nights and days planning what we would do if we were given the chance, and now that we had had it, Nella had literally just thrown all of it away. It wasn't even fair how I didn't get a say. Sure, I'd speak up if I could, but I couldn't. Nella was the one with the words, she seemed to be the one who could talk to her father. I mean, after all, it was her father. God, as much as I loved Nella, she could be a real pain in the ass sometimes. She knew I didn't want her father to see Maria, that was the whole point of coming here. We had to get her back. Even Nella had said she didn't want her father seeing Maria. So I just fucking blew up.

"God, Nella, you know how to fuck things up, don't you?" I murmured, breaking my hands away from her grip. "You always say that you always mess things up, and I've always told you that you don't and all of that bullshit...and I really believed it, Nella. I did." I looked up at her, chewing my bottom lip and trying not to show that my eyes were practically stinging with fresh tears. "But I never realized how unusually good you were at it. I didn't think you were as good at it as you had claimed to be." I shook my head, slinging my bag of clothes over my shoulder and shaking my head. "God dammit, Nella, you know what? I'm done putting up with all of your shit. You never listen to a word I say, and you're always getting me into such deep shit. You know how you always say I could do better? I just realized, I probably can. I can't have you keep fucking around with me and playing these dumb mind games. I can't take it!" I shook my head. "Have fun with Maria and having your dad visiting every weekend. Maybe if you actually thought things through and weren't so egoistic, none of this would be happening. But I'm leaving. And you know what? This time I'm not coming back. I'm going to go find a new girlfriend who's what you used to be. Because I miss the old you, Nella. You weren't like this. And people are just going to keep walking out on you until you figure out what the fuck is wrong, because, now that I'm leaving, you'd better realize there's some kind of issue here. And, whatever it is, I'm not sticking around to deal with it."

And with that, I left. I left her behind, and I didn't even listen to her cry, or listen to her begging me to come back. Because I knew I couldn't, I knew I shouldn't. And I knew that, no matter how much she called or texted, I wasn't going to go back. Because, I just realized, everything I'd just told her was true. I'd held it in for too long, and I couldn't put up with her. I had to leave. I had to go find someone who wouldn't treat me like that, because, in the most humble way possible, I deserved better. I couldn't have Nella just treat me like this. I'd kill to feel less invisible to her anymore. For a husband and wife, we were so distant.


And so, that's why I caught a taxi and then went to the airport and flew to The Middle of Nowhere, Indiana, USA. To go to someone who I knew wouldn't treat me like Nella did.

What time was it now? 3? 4? I didn't care. There was a knock on the door, and I was going to get killed.

Welp. Might as well grab the baseball bat anyway.

I crept slowly down the stairs, careful not to make even a small sound, and not stepping in front of the windows so my shadow wouldn't be seen. I crouched down as I walked through my tiny apartment, pausing in front of the door and opening in one swift movement. I began to swing towards where the face would be, but I realized who it was at last second and yelped, dropping the bat. But I still managed to hit the person in the balls.

"Shit, Zack, I'm so sorry!" I cried out. He yelped and then collapsed into my arms, his body shaking. I couldn't tell if it was because of the baseball bat or because of something else. Hunh. Either way.

"Dammit, Rae, now I have two things to cry about." He sobbed. I'd never seen Zack cry. Ever. Well, besides the time he was on tour and his wife had sent him a video of their baby kicking. But those were different tears, I think. I wondered how long ago that had been. Had their baby been born yet? I wanted to ask. But now didn't really seem like the appropriate time.

"Shhh.." I comforted him, leaning against his chest as he shook and sobbed onto the top of my head. I rubbed his back. "Zack, what's wrong?"

"I just...I just left Nella. Can I stay here? J-just for a few nights?"

I immediately nodded. "Shhh, don't say anything else." He nodded, taking my hand in a friendly way as I guided him towards my room, getting him a blanket. "You can sleep in here, I'll go sleep on the couch." He immediately shook his head, gently pushing me down into the bed and then crawling in next to me.

"No. Sleep in here with me."

I found the gesture a bit odd, but I went with it anyway. He pulled me a bit closer to him, hugging me in a giant bear hug. I fell asleep like that, in his strong and warm chest, his arms around my waist.

I just wondered. What would his wife think about this?

[ofmiceandbrynne]

ok wait. i think i have a kind of idea but i'm not sjrue??? idk like we really need some plot ideas for these two ah. i feel like we get them and they're good but they kind of happen and then they're done really fast...whereas zack and nella's last for a while omg. ok so anyway i have two skeletons of ideas. and idk this is my mind at 1 am so sorry if they sound weird but yeah if u like one of them we can build on it fo sho

• after storm gets better cameron comes over and he's like 'i don't want u takin care of alesana bc i don't trust christian with MAH daughter. mhmm guruuuuuuuurl." and so cameron gets all sassy and he's like "listen if u don't let me take alesana i'll take u both to court and sue u for all u have." and they're like ????? why and then he's like well i'm going to go take alesana and move somewhere else so ya cya bye lol k and then storm's like "cameron..............noe u can't do that." and he's like "WELL Y NOT" and storm's like "because you're not actually alesana's dad.....................chrissy iz" idk it kind of makes storm sound like this huge slut but idk man just
  
• OR we could go on with them for a while and they're happy n stuff and then an "old friend" of christian's comes over and she's really upset and her boyfriend went on some long business trip and he did something that upset her so she convinces christian to post pictures online to makeher boyfriend think that she's cheating on him with christian or something and at first storm doesn't care and she gets it and they still go out and love each other but over time the girl starts coming over more and christian seems more withdrawn from storm and they don't do anything together and christian starts falling for the other chick and he cheats on storm with that girl and ooooo idk
  
• and then there's always the option of christian proposing and all of a sudden storm's mom comes into the picture and is like "um excuse me i dun think i'll let u marry this guy i dun like him ://///" and storm's like "fuq off maim" and she's like "NOE." and idk somethin like that

[bokangavemeabeauner]

((btw jordan's aaron))
Nella stood on her father's doorstep, watching Zack walk out on her for what, the hundreth time? Nella couldn't even tell you how many times he had walked out on her and said 'he wasn't going to come back.' But, maybe this time she didn't want him to come back. Maybe, this time, it would be better if he didn't come back. Better for him. Better for her. Maybe not so good for Maria, growing up without a father. But, she had. Maria could do it too. Someway, somehow, it would work out.

Wiping a few stray tears away, Nella picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. What did Zack tell her this morning? 'I love you'? Now it was true, those words had lost meaning a long fucking time ago.

Nella called up a taxi and waited for it to come. It drove her to the airport and then, she was flying back. Back home. If that's what she should even call it anymore.

Unlocking the door to the house she had lived in for god knows how many years, Nella stepped in, throwing her bag on the floor. If Zack did come back, which she doubted he would ever, Nella wasn't going to be here. She couldn't be here. There was always that little chance that he would come back. That little chance that they would get back together. But, there was no chance that everything would go back to the way it used to. It just wasn't going to.

Nella walked up the stairs, into their room, her room, and opened the closet and all her drawers, throwing all her clothes and belongings into a dufflebag. It was strange, how you could pack up your whole life in one bag and leave it behing like it never happened. But, Nella was going to do it. Nella had to do it if she wanted to move on.

Grabbing the bags, Nella moved on to Maria's room, grabbing a few of her belongings that she would need when her father flew down with her next month. The funny thing was, Zack hadn't even given her time to explain. He hadn't even given her time to explain why she had agreed to her father's offer. He hadn't even been hurt by him as much as she had and he had the audacity to say that shit to her? Zack didn't even know what her father was capable of but he talked about him like he was the one who was put through all that pain.

Nella shook her head, shoving a few of Maria's favorite stuffed animals into her bag. A few blankets and baby bottles. Diapers and onesies. Nella should have done this a long time ago. That first time when Zack was with Kellan? She saw the way he looked at her. He wanted her. Nella would know, that was the way he used to look at her.

They should have never gotten married. That's where everything went down the drain. Both of them weren't ready for commientment and having Zack walk away like that? It kind of felt...freeing. Like she didn't have to be tied down to anyone anymore.

Grabbing her bags, Nella took one last look at the empty house. The house that held so many good but yet so many bad memories. There was something...refreshing about leaving them behind. Like a new start. Nella bit her lip and walked out the door, walking out to her car.

There was one person Nella knew she could go back to. One person she knew wouldn't slam the door in her face.

Aaron.

Nella had never really stopped talking to him. Sure, Zack didn't like him but Zack had never really liked a lot of her friends. And besides, he didn't have any control over who she talked to.

Walking up to his door, Nella hesitated before knocking.

"Aaron, open up...it's me." Nella heared movement from the other side of the door and she bit her lip. Aaron opened the door and immediately drew her in for a big bear hug. "Nella! I missed you so much! It's been forever!" Nella couldn't help but smile and hug him back, burying her face into his chest.

Nella collasped on the couch, Aaron sitting next to her. "Look." She said, biting her lip. "I know it's late and I didn't call or anything. But I need to crash here for a while. I don't know how long. But, I just need a place to stay. Me and Maria..if that's alright. And it's totally okay if you say no." She looked over at Aaron, whos eyebrows furrowed into concern. "Sure. No problem. What happened? You look a little..upset." Nella sighed and leaned back on the couch, running her hands down her face. "Zack left me last night. For good this time. And I really don't want to stay in our old house to just keep thinking about him every fucking time I wake up or walk down the stairs or see a picture or..I just can't stay there." Aaron nodded, tossing his arm around her and bringing her closer. "I'm sorry.." He murmured, biting his lip. "You can stay here as long as you need." Nella nodded, leaning her head against his chest.

After a while of sitting like that, Aaron looked down at her, "Where's Maria?" Nella looked up at him, and then back down at her hands. "Social Services took her...They said that I wasn't capable enough to be raising her. That I was 'putting her in danger' because of my depression. And they think I'm going to hurt her...so they handed her over to my father last week. But, I made a deal with him yesterday. It wasn't the best one and I could have thought it through more..but I needed Maria back. I just couldn't let her stay another night with him, you know? I just, I thought it was the only choice I had. And I don't know if it was the wrong one or not." She paused, letting Aaron take in all she had just told him, "He's bringing her back down by the end of the week...he wanted visitation rights, though." Nella closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do."

Aaron rubbed her arm and kissed the top of her head, "It'll be okay." He murmured into her hair. "It'll be okay."

Truth was, nothing would ever be okay.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

After a few days of staying in the hospital on bedrest, we could finally go home. Christian had stayed there the whole time, sleeping in a chair and spending boring hospital days with me, placing bets on what had happened to the man next to me, and watching old reruns of Invader Zim. They were pretty boring days, in all honesty, but it meant the world that Christian didn't leave for one second. He stayed. And that made me happier than anything else.

By Thursday afternoon, all of the discharge papers had been sorted out and we could finally come home. Christian brought his car out front while a nurse helped me get downstairs. We reached the entrance and I climbed into the car with some effort, until I finally sat down in a position where it didn't feel like one of my ribs was going to poke through the skin. It was a gross feeling, really, but the nurses had told me that there wasn't really anything they could do about it. They had said that if I just took it easy for a few days, it would eventually heal up by itself. Christian had insisted that there had to be something else they could do, he didn't like watching me sit there in that much pain. But he promised he'd stay with me until I felt better, he'd spend lazy days with me on the couch and lay with me until I didn't feel like one of my ribs was going to poke through my stomach or I didn't feel like ripping off my face (not literally) because the pain could get very immense.

Finally, we got back to his apartment. The place was pretty much my home. I mean, Zack and I's house had always been my home, and I had always been welcomed there, but it just seemed weird. Since Zack and Nella had moved in, I just felt annoying sticking around. And, now, I obviously couldn't stay with Cameron, so this place had become my home. Not by force, not by 'this is the only place I have to stay so I think I will.' I could've easily gotten an apartment of my own. But the thing was, I didn't want to. I was happy, and I might as well hold on to that while I had it.

We sat down on the couch together, relaxing. As I was on the verge of falling asleep, there was a knock on the door, jolting me back awake. Christian loosened his grip around me, sighing. "I'll get it." He mumbled, getting up and heading for the door.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Christian looked back at Storm, biting his lip. Part of him just wanted to ignore who was at the door and just get back on the couch and cuddle with Storm, kissing her and murmuring 'I love you's' here and there. But part of him was curious to see who would pop up at his door on a Saturday afternoon. After all, his friends knew that Storm needed all the bed rest that she could get, they wouldn't drop by without calling first, seeing if it was alright.

Sighing, Christian opened the door. Seeing who was behind it made his jaw drop. If under different circumstances, he probably would have smiled and pulled her into a big bear hug. He would have, if the girl in front of him wasn't bawling her eyes out.

"Juliet." Christian whispered, pulling her inside and closing the door behind her. "Calm down, what happened?" He murmured, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back in a soothing manner, immediately forgetting about Storm waiting for him in the living room. She would be fine.

Althought he hadn't seen her in years, Christian felt the need to sooth her pain. To stop whatever was making her unhappy. Sure, the last time they had been together didn't end on the best note, but, what good would grudges do them? It was better to leave the past in the past. After all, Juliet was practically his best friend. Before he met Storm, he could have sworn to everyone that this was going to be the girl that he married. Sure, he slept around a lot, but the one and only girl he had his mind on half the time was her. Christian never really knew why things had ended between them. All he could remember was her calling him one day and telling him that it was over and that was the last time he had ever saw and or talked to her again. It made him wonder why she needed him now after all those years silence.

"Juliet, calm down." Christian mumurmed into her hair again, rocking her back and forth. "Tell me what happened."

"H-he.." Another gasp and another cry. "My b-boyfriend." She started again and Christian nodded waiting for her to continue, "H-he left the other day, something f-for work, I forget, b-but he left and, I-I don't know. He hasn't been answering my c-alls or my t-texts. And the other day, he called me, and he was with another woman. I could h-hear him with another woman. And I d-don't know what to do." Christian nodded, tucking her head against his chest. "Shhh.." He whispered, rubbing her back. "Shhh, it's alright."

Christian wrapped his arm around Juliet's waist and led her into the living room. Storm looked over, confusioning dawning in her brown eyes. She mouthed a 'who is that?' to him as he sat her down at the kitchen table. "Storm, this is Juliet. Juliet, this is Storm." Christian bit his lip and leaned over the counter grabbing a tissue box and handed it to her, "Uh, she's an old friend." He said, looking over at Storm, "We go way back...she's having boyfriend troubles and I'm assuming she needs my help?" And with that he looked back at Juliet.

"Juliet if there's anything I can do, just tell me."

Juliet blew her nose and wiped her tears, her cheeks and eyes still red from all the crying she had been doing. "Just, I can't lose him Christian. He means the world to me...and, can you help me get him back? Just...I don't know...Just, can you help me make him jealous or something?"

Christian looked at Juliet, hesistant with his answer. He glanced over at Storm who didn't look so pleased about the idea. Sure, she wouldn't be to happy about this later and he would have a lot of explaining to do, but, he just couldn't leave Juliet like this.

"Anything."

[ofmiceandbrynne]

Waking up next to Rae didn't seem as foreign as it did a year ago. It wasn't strange. Hell, it was almost normal. Truthfully, we'd been going out and I called her my girlfriend. It was no longer the kind of deal that I'd said it would be. I wasn't staying there anymore because I needed a place to stay. Really, if I did, I could've gotten my own place months ago. But now, whether I wanted to face it or not, I'd fallen in love with Rae. She was beautiful, incredible...and, for what it counted for, she didn't put me through what Nella did. And honestly, that was everything I could've asked for. I didn't have to worry about if she was going to kill herself while I wasn't looking, and I didn't have to worry about her getting jealous if I kissed a fan on the cheek. It wasn't flirting. It was part of being a musician, showing love to your fans. And, unlike Nella, Rae got that. Rae was everything I could've asked for in a woman. Plus, she made pretty amazing sandwiches and could woop my ass at Black Ops. And she'd sit on the couch with me all day and play XBOX with me. She didn't worry about dumb stuff like when the bills were due and what she was going to make for dinner. She was spontaneous, and so was I. That's what I really needed, and had wanted the whole time.

The minute I woke up, she looked over at me and smiled tiredly. I pulled her closer to me, pressing her bare skin against mine and kissing her softly. She giggled and laid on top of me, lacing her arms around my neck. This was something Nella would've never done. When she woke up, she had to feed the baby, even if the baby wasn't even awake yet. Rae could sit with me for hours. She never got bored or tired of me, and I never got bored or tired of her. Rae giggled, pressing her forehead against mine and grinning. I chuckled, closing my eyes and hugging her.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed. Rae sighed as I sat up, and she sat up with me. She laced her arms around my neck, sitting behind me and resting her chin on my shoulder. The text was from an unknown number. Well, I might've known it, but it wasn't in my contacts and I didn't recognize it at all. I unlocked my phone, seeing the simple words. 'Check ur email.' Three words. It could've been a wrong number, but then again, maybe it wasn't. Either way, it seemed interesting. Rae reached over my hand, pressing the home button and pressing the email app silently, refreshing the feed and waiting. As if on cue, a new email showed up from none other than Nella. I sighed, pressing it. Didn't she know I wanted nothing to do with her anymore? I was in love with Rae. I was going to marry her, and raise a family with her. I loved Rae more than anything in the world; and yes, I'd said that about Nella countless times, but I'd never felt the words as much as I felt them when I looked at Rae. I couldn't deny the butterflies that filled my gut when I saw her (remembering sunday referenc hehahehhhahehehahhehah :-)). Sure, I'd felt it years ago with Nella, but as time went on, they faded. This feeling was new. It was different with Rae...in a good way.

The subject line was simple: "FOWARD: Divorce papers." It was from what I assumed was Nella's lawyer. My heart stopped. Divorce papers? God, I couldn't go through all of this. Rae sighed silently, kissing my cheek. She knew I didn't want to do this, I couldn't. But I had to.

At the top of the email was a few simple words: "Review these and tell me the address of where you're staying. I'll send you the papers and you can sign them. -Nella." I sighed. There was no way in hell I'd read all of that. I deleted the email, watching it disappear into my trashcan and laying back down. Before I could wrap my mind around the thought, a new text appeared from the same number: "This is Nella. Meet me at my lawyer's office at 3." She'd included an address with it. "Wear something that doesn't make you look like a total ass. The quicker you agree to all of this, the quicker all of this is over." And, in all honesty, this time I wanted it to be over.

I got out of the bed, going into the bathroom and straightening my hair. I grabbed a polo from the closet and a pair of jeans. Heh. I'd only follow part of the command Nella had given me. Now that she was really leaving me, I could do what I wanted. I didn't have to listen to her shitty demands anymore. I looked at my watch. It was 2:00. Well, as much as I didn't want to follow Nella's demands, it seemed that this was important for both of us, so if I was going to go at all, I might as well be on time. I bid a quick farewell to the still half-asleep Rae, and she murmured a goodbye to me as I left, getting into my car and driving to the office.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella sighed, sending the text to Zack. All of this would have been so much better if she didn't have to see Zack. If she didn't have to talk to him face to face. They had been seperated for a year, but, honestly, it had felt longer then a year. They had been seperated even when they were together. Nella didn't get those butterflies when he said he loved her or that feeling when he kissed her. It had, just, went away. It didn't feel right falling asleep in his arms. Or having sex when Maria was asleep. It didn't feel the same.

She just didn't get it anymore. Both of them were just trying to convince each other that putting up with it was worth it, that their relationship was something worth fighting for, but, it wasn't. It wasn't worth it. Waking up each morning and knowing that the person next to you didn't love you as much as they said they did. Nella had to admit that everything had changed when Maria came around, but, that didn't have to change everything. Couples who had children together still loved each other at the end of the day. They still found ways to surprise each other, or excite each other or something but Nella and Zack hadn't done that. As much as she loved Maria, she had to hate her for that. But, it was for the best, right?

A year had passed and Aaron and her had connected on more levels then they had before. They just, clicked. It was weird. After Zack had left her, Nella didn't think it was worth getting into another relationship, going through all the trouble of making sure they were happy and trying not to fuck everything up. That was part of the reason she was so depressed all the time. Nella was trying to be something she wasn't for Zack the whole time and it was just so emotionally draining. With Aaron, he loved her no matter what. She didn't have to try. She just had to be herself and, she was happy. She got that feeling with Aaron that she had with Zack when they first started going out. Carefree. Worryfree. Butterflies. Everything. She got that little tingling feeling in her body when they kissed nad over all, she was happy. A year ago Nella didn't even know what being happy even meant anymore. But, with Aaron, she could smile. It wasn't forced or anything it was real.

Maria was two and Aaron had turned out to be a great father to her. Her dad had come by once a month to spend the day with her. Sure, Nella didn't trust him completely but, it was better than not having Maria around at all.

Nella ran a brush through her hair, looking in the mirror and sighing to herself. She had a black skirt on with a purple top and a pair of flats. It'd have to do.

Aaron came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her neck. "I wish you didn't have to go." He mumured, lifting his head up to kiss her cheek. Nella smiled, and turned around into his chest, lacing her arms around his neck, "I know..but I want to get this over and done with. I'll just feel...better about it, you know? I don't want to be married to him anymore. It's time to make him apart of my past." Aaron nodded and cupped her face in his hands, giving her a long drawn out kiss. "I'll see you later babe." Nella smiled and gave him a quick squeeze. Calling an I love you as she slipped out the door.

Nella got in her car and drove to the lawyers office, fingering the thick, yellow, manilla folder that sit in her lap. Enclosed held the signed(ORARETHEY) divorce papers, awaiting Zack's signiature, and a little baggie with her old wedding ring.

Nella got to the office around 2:50. She walked in and saw that Zack was still no where in sight. Nella shook her head and walked into the office, sitting down in the waiting chair until she was called in for their 3 o'clock appointment.

Murming a quick, 'I'm sorry' to her lawyer, Nella placed the manila folder on his desk, "I don't know if he's coming or not." Nella said, running her fingers through her hair. "I haven't seen him about a year and it'd be a miracle if he actually answered me. I just want to get this done with. I've got to move on, right?" Nella smiled, smoothing out her skirt and folding her legs. What did they tell her and Zack when they had gotten married.

'You're to young!'

I guess they were right.

Twenty minutes later.
Nella was twirling around the engagement ring Aaron had given her last month around her finger when Zack walked in the door. "About time." She muttered, sitting up in her chair. The lawyer cleared his throat and took the manila folder from edge of the desk and pulled out the white packet of papers.

"Sit down Mr. Dickinson. We have a lot of work to do and a lot to discuss."

[ofmiceandbrynne]

A lot had changed since I'd seen Nella last. Firstly, my hair had grown out a little more, proving to be even more unmanagable than it had been in the first place. I'd grown out a bit of stubble. I'd never enjoyed shaving the least bit, but Nella had always hated the way it felt when I kissed her, so it was Mister Bald Cheeks for me. And not ass cheeks. Like, face cheeks. Anyway, Rae liked it when I grew out my stubble, and that was really all that mattered anymore, anyway. She said it was impeccably sexy, and then she'd call me flawless and kiss me all over and run her fingers through my hair while I held her on my lap loosely. Nella had gotten a haircut. Not one that anybody else would've noticed, just a mere trim, but still; I noticed. I noticed and I knew. Every time she got something new, I'd noticed. Whether it be a hair trim, a new pair of socks, or even just a new song on her iTunes...I knew. And she loved that about me, I remembered. She'd throw her head back, laughing, calling me a weirdo for noticing and kissing me. Her kisses were nothing like Rae's. Nella's soft lips tasted like coffee on a cold day, a taste I'd grown accustomed to but still loved nonetheless. Rae's tasted like strong strawberry vodka, and I could almost feel the burn from the bitter alcohol.

What the hell was I saying? I loved Rae, she was my girlfriend. I loved the taste of strawberry vodka, dammit, I could kiss her for months, even years if I wanted to. A lot had changed since I'd seen Nella last.

I sat down in the chair, leaning back and chewing on my bottom lip. I raised an eyebrow as I looked at the lawyer. "Such as? Listen, I've got a girlfriend back at my house whom I'd like to get back to. How long do I have to be here? I'm fuckin' hungry. When was your lunch break..." I paused, leaning forward and looking at the lawyer's name plate that sat on his desk. "...Dean. Dean, what time was your lunch break? Because I just barely woke up and I haven't had any food, and Nella told me that we'd just be signing papers. So, um, could you clarify on this? Because if I pass out on this damn chair, it's not my fault. Just fair warning."

The lawyer glared at me. Clearly does not have a sense of humor, I noted. Clearly is not on my side. Clearly. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, staring at The Man Named Dean Who Sat at a Desk Too Big For Him. "Listen, Mr. Dickinson, I am a lawyer and I am here for serious reasons. Not for you to talk to me about your food." He smiled weakly, folding his hands and putting them neatly in front of him on his desk. "And, just for clarification purposes, yes, we will only be signing papers, but only if the two of you agree on the terms composed. Also, my lunch break was at 12:45."

Ignoring all of the previous words, I rocked forward on my chair and looked at the man, resting my elbows on my knees and looking up at him. "What'd ya have for lunch, Dean?"

His face immediately turned angry, and he brought his hand down to his desk with a loud smack! I winced, backing up. "Mister Dickinson! Please cooperate with me!" He growled. I nodded.

"Now." He said, taking the papers and making them all even. But before he could, I had already glanced down at Nella's ring finger and saw something strange. Well, that wasn't our wedding band. Or our engagement ring. I'd gotten something better than that tacky piece of shit, that's for sure. I raised and eyebrow, looking at Nella. "What the hell is that?" I murmured, nodding my head towards the ring on her finger. And she blew up. Lecturing me on how she was happier with Aaron, how I never did anything for her, and all of that.

I hesitated after she finished, looking up. "I never did anything for you? Really?" I closed my eyes, pinching the skin on the bridge of my nose and sighing. "Dammit, Nella. That hurts. Listen, Dean, buddy, I'll be back another time. I don't think I can sign these papers." And I closed the door and left that office, sitting down in the car and driving back to Rae's apartment.

Dammit.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella shook her head, watching as Zack slipped out of the door, getting that long sense familiar smell of hairspray and mint. To be perfectly honest, Nella had missed that smell. It was one of the many things she had grown to love about Zack. Just like the way his hair flipped when he woke up, or the little sparkle he got in his eyes when he was talking about his music, or the way he sang when he was nervous. Not to mention that look he gave her right after he told her he loved her, those butterflies she got flying around in her stomach...Sure, he was a total pain in the ass at times, but he had always been her pain in the ass. And that was the way it was always supposed to be. A fight in the morning, an 'I'm sorry' by noon, and an 'I love you' by dinner time. It was nothing like it was with Aaron. But different was good, right? Different didn't always have to be bad.

Shaking the thoughts out of her head, Nella bit her lip. What was she thinking? She was supposed to get married in three months. Sure, it was rather quick jump from Zack to Aaron, but something just clicked and she wasn't ready to lose that for one little fear she might be falling all over again for her soon to be ex-husband. It was time to move on. It was better not to dwell inthe past.

Sighing, Nella took the papers back from Dean and shoved them back in the manila folder. "I'm so sorry." She murmured, closing her eyes. "He's a fucking child. He can never take anything seriously." Holding up the folder, Nella stood up, waving it, "I'll be sure to get these signed by tomorrow morning. I just want this to be over with." Dean nodded with an annoyed smile. He was probably thinking about how stupid they both were. How young they both were. To young to be married, to young to have a daughter, and certainly to young to be getting a divorce. Hell, Nella was only tweenty-three years old. It was quite overwhelming to her too.

"It's okay." Dead said, with a nod. "It's not your fault. Just please get him to coroporate. See you tomorrow, Mrs. Dickison." Nella bit her lip at the name. She hadn't been called that in a while. It seemed foreign. It didn't seem her. But at the same time, she felt that it was the right name for her. It felt oddly normal and fitting. But it wouldn't be her name in three months.

Nella grabbed her jacket and stuffed the folder into her bag, quickly rushing out of the lawyer's office just in time to see Zack speeding away in his car. "Great." She murmured, unlocking her car door and throwing her things in the passenger seat. "I didn't think this would be so hard." She muttered, putting the key in the ignition.

Pulling out of the parking lot, Nella followed Zack's car.(omg it sounds so creepy. yolo) He wasn't getting out of this so easily. Nella had slaved over these divorce papers for the last two months, trying to get everything perfect. Giving what to who, who got the keys to the house and the custody of Maria. It was a hell of a lot of work and Nella wasn't just going to let Zack just shit over all the time she had put into it. They both knew that they didn't love each other anymore so why did he just run out of that office? Why did he just bolt when he saw her wedding ring? That bastard couldn't be jealous, not now. After all, he was the one that left her for God's sakes. He was the one who brought this on himself. So now when she wanted to move on, it was his choice? Fuck that.

"God dammit." Nella muttered to herself, taking a sharp right. "I can't believe I ever married that son of a bitch."

Nella pulled into Zack's driveway five mintues after him. Getting out of her car, she walked to the door, her flats slapping on the ground. "Zack." Nella called out, knowing on the door. Zack opened it and she could have swore that he rolled her eyes. He was about to say something, but Nella interupted him. It was time to put all this bullshit to rest once and for all. It was about time, wasn't it?

"No, Zack. You need to fucking listen to me. Just for once, okay? I want you to sign these papers. I don't want to be married to you anymore. You decided that for the both of us a year ago. And now, I'm finally happy- with someone else- and you're just holding me back. And you're happy with someone else too. Why do you need me holding you back from her? Just, please." Nella pulled the papers out and handed them to her, "Sign."

Zack took the papers in his hands and bit his lip looking back up at her, "Just out of all the people, why the fuck would you pick Aaron? Out of all the people in the world, why the fuck did you have to choose him? You know how I feel about him."

And after those words slipped out of Zack's mouth, Nella lost it. She couldn't hold it in any longer. All the things she had been holding in for years. Things she hadn't told Zack, Aaron, or even her therapist. She let lose.

"You know what Zack? I fucking hate you. I just, I seriously can't fucking stand the thought of you anymore. You know that? You disgust me. Just every little aspect of you disgusts me. After Maria was born, all you seemed to want was fucking sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! And you know what? You're not even supposed to have sex a month after having a baby; you're not supposed to. but you acted like it was my fault! Like it was fucking my fault! Like I was purposely pushing you away because you thought I loved Maria more than you! I would have killed to just make out on the couch, in bed, or anywhere. But I couldn't and you didn't see that. Then, to top all of that off, you didn't even help with Maria half of the time. Maybe if you had I would have had a little more time with you. But, you didn't and you STILL expected me to do everything I had done for you before. Are you even listening to me, Zack? Because this is where everything started going downhill and it was all because of you. I went into fucking depression because I didn't think I was doing a good enough job. Not for you, or Maria. And you know what? It didn't fucking help that you decided to up and leave every now and again! Like it was 'okay' to just 'move out' or 'leave me' when I didn't, no, I couldn't do one thing for you! That's the reason I went over the edge, Zack. The reason I fucking cut open my skina nd overdosed. I was beyond done with everthing. I just couldn't take it anymore! And you know what? Don't fucking say that 'oh you could've said something' because I tried. Remember that night in the hospital? I told you then, I tried explaining everything to you and you didn't even fucking care! Again, it was all about you! You! You! And, surprise! You! So you know what? I'm happy you left me. I am so fucking happy because it gave me a chance to realize what a total prick you are. I love him, okay? I love Aaron. And I loved you, well at least I thought I did, at one point in my life. But after a while, I lost who I was along the way. I was trying to be something I wasn't because I thought you would leave me! I stayed with you because you always told me that you loved me and that we could pull through it together just like old times or some other bullshit like that. I 'thought' I loved you. But you know what? We're not 16 anymore, Zack! We can't just hook up in the back of your car after getting drunk, or spend the night on the bveach. We can't! You need to fucking grow up and see that life isn't as easy as highschool and people arent' going to hand you eveything you want on a silver platter anymore, grow the fuck up! And I am so sorry that things ended that way between us. But, Maria was the only thing keeping my feet on the ground. She was the only thing keeping that razorblade away from my skin. So what if I had to have my dad visit on the weekends? I could suffer through it. Why couldn't you? You don't even know half the shit that my father put me through. You didn't even live through it. The countless times he told me what a fucking disappointment I was or how much I fucking sucked or what a total piece of shit I was and how he hit me and pulled my hair and through me against the wall- you don't even know what he's capable of. But I did, I was the one and I thought we could get through it. We could figure something out but you didn't even give me time to explain. You had absolutely no fucking right yelling at me for letting him back into my life because I might be your wife but I still have a choice of my own, especially when it's about a daughter you don't even seem to care about. And speaking of Maria, I don't even know why we had a fucking kid! You should have let me have the abortion! You should have let me go through with it! Because you know what? It seems like the whole time we had her, I was the only one who seemed to care about her. When I was in the hospital you sent her away. When we were seperated for the past year, you didn't even try to visit her. I know you were pissed at me, but she is your fucking daughter, Zack. It would have changed a lot of things between us if we never had her, you know? It would've been me in that fucking bed waking up with a smile on my face next to you. It would've been me on that couch with you watching reruns of old cartoons or whatever. It would have been me. But, it isn't. Things change. And I'm about to change this thing we have between us because I honestly want to move on with my life. I have to if I ever want to be fully happy again. So, here are the papers and the pen, just fucking sign and you'll never see me again."

By the time Nella finished spilling her guts out to Zack, she realized they had gotten closer. He was looking down at her, shocked, impressed even that she had just went off on him like that. But it needed to be done.

As she got closer, the smell of hairspray and mint had gotten stronger. Nella was so close she could hear his heartbeat pick up. She wasn't sure if it was due to nervousness or if he was just beyond pissed at her at the current moment. Nella was shooting for the second one. But, the second she had finished talking, the mood had just...changed. Nella felt something different in the air and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Before she could say something, Zack did something strange.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

I puffed my cheeks up with air, and then smiled, nodding towards Juliet. I hated her. Fucking hated her. The way she looked at Christian? She wanted him so badly. And, God, stop crying. It's annoying and it doesn't make you cute. I exhaled, standing up and walking slowly to the room I shared with Christian. "Um, I'm going to take a nap, and the two of you can kind of catch up. I wouldn't want to intrude or anything." I smiled, weakly, closing the door behind me and laying down in bed. I stared up at the ceiling. She'd be gone soon, I told myself. There's nothing to worry about. Soon, she'll be gone and it'll be fine. Christian will still pay attention to you, he just needs some time to calm Juliet down. There's nothing wrong.

There's something wrong.

Juliet's been staying at our apartment for at least three weeks now. In the beginning, it had been fine, but now...it was not fine. It was anything but fine. Christian didn't talk to me anymore, it was all about Juliet. And taking pictures of him and her making out, giggling, watching TV together or eating breakfast together. It was all so fucking stupid, honestly. They had so many pictures, and besides, wouldn't her boyfriend be home by now? She had to go home, dammit. I was getting sick of her being around. I wasn't even getting any bedrest because of all the pictures they'd made me take of them acting like a couple. And, the worst part was, Christian didn't see how much it hurt me that he was making out with some chick that I didn't even know. Some girl he didn't even love.

Or maybe he did. I'd never know.

I walked to the cash register at Hot Topic, putting my purchases on the counter and reaching into my purse, taking out my wallet . Immediately, looking up, I saw...Cameron.

He laughed. "How're ya doin', Storm? When do you get those stitches taken out?" He chuckled. That bitch. He knew he'd caused that. He knew it. I shook my head.

"Please just check me out." I mumbled, looking down.

"Alright, I will, but first you gotta listen." He waited until I looked up, and he grabbed me by the shoulders. "I am coming for you and that little asshole Christian, do you hear me? Mark my words. You messed up not only my, but also Alesana's, life. And that's not fair. So just watch your back, because I can be there anywhere, anytime." He hesitated. "Wish I would've beat up Christian and not you. I mean, it'd make you more miserable to see him gone, and with him gone, I could have you. I mean, really." He looked away, smirking. "Oh, well, but that's only wishful thinking...right?"

My heart sped up. No. No! I'd made one wrong move, and he was out to ruin my life. This wasn't fair anymore! I broke away, running out of that store and out of that mall. I had to tell Christian. We had to get out of here, we had to leave, it wasn't save. I didn't want Christian to get hurt, I didn't want to get hurt. Now, as hard as it was to face it, it was actually quite a possibility that we were in danger here.

I walked in the door as soon as I got home. My mouth dropped open in disgust. "Christian? What the hell are you doing?"

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Christian couldn't place his finger on it. There was just something different about Juliet, there always had been. When they kissed, it felt different. Sure, when he kissed Storm he got butterflies and that little tingling feeling and all that shit, but when he kissed Juliet, holy fuck it brought back the best memories and it brought on the best feelings. When they kissed, Christian wanted nothing more than to be closer to her. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair pull her close and collaspe on the couch making out or even a little more than just 'making out.'

Then there was Storm. He saw the way that she looked at Juliet and it was starting to piss him off.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

Zack raised his eyebrow and looked down at Nella, smirking. God, he could barely keep on a straight face during all of this -- though it made Nella even more pissed to see him laughing at her, he didn't care at this point. He knew none of what she was saying was true -- he knew her. He knew her, better than that dumb Aaron kid ever would. He knew how she liked her coffee cold, not hot, because she hated the burning sensation it offered her lips. And the corners of her eyes crinkled up when she laughed, and it sounded like a rainstorm which was fucking beautiful and frightening at the same time. And the way she looked up at you when she wanted to kiss you -- she wouldn't make the move, she'd play with your fingers, waiting for you to. And when you kissed her, she hated tongue -- she'd always shush you and say, 'less tongue, more lips.' Zack bet that Aaron never knew any of that stuff. Or how she'd rather go mini-golfing than see a movie, or how she smelled like Mountain Dew and cigarettes though she'd long since given up the habit of smoking. Zack knew everything about that girl, that fucking girl that he had wasted his whole life trying to perfect himself for. But he didn't know how, and he could not even fathom now that he had spent his whole life wasting away for her. Trying to be everything he was supposed to be. But, he couldn't, he wouldn't, and now the girl he had spent his life on, the one who he'd spent months trying to give her a baby and saving up for a ring for her -- the girl he promised he'd marry one day, and had kept that promise -- was now handing him divorce papers.


So, wordlessly, he took the papers out of her hands and ripped them in half. And in half again, and again, and again, until they were little shreds on the tile floor. "There." He said, looking down and swiping away the pieces with his foot. "I mean, we didn't need those anyway."


He tilted his head at her, taking the pen. "That lawyer was a dick, I'll have you know. Who hired him? Aaron, I bet. He hired you a shitty lawyer because he can't put up with you, y'know." Zack nodded, pursing his lips. "I mean, I've seen that kid. And the way he looks at you? He wants you gone." He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. "Babe, he doesn't love you. And he won't, ever. That's the lousy truth, and if you can't put up with it, get the fuck out." He put his hands on his hips, putting his arms around Nella's waist and pulling her closer to him so that her chest was pressed against his, and her cheeks were pressed up against his own chest. Her legs lingered behind her, trying to get away, but he wouldn't allow that.


"Bet Aaron's not as good of a kisser as I am." Zack whispered, in her ear, his voice dripping with seduction. "Let alone, in bed. I mean, shit, Nella, you may think he loves you, but let's face it -- does he check that you take those meds every morning? Sure he does, because he cares. He...cares. Yup. But really, what do those do for you? Nothing, fucking nothing. I've seen it. You'd come home and take your meds. I didn't want you to, y'know. Because I don't want them to fuck you up, I don't want them to control you. Let's face it, those meds aren't gonna fix you. You gotta have a fuckin' terrible husband and an abusive father and a daughter with that horrible husband that you wish you would've aborted. And I could tell Maria when she grows up that you wish you'd gotten an abortion, and you'd be just like your dad. Just like him, Nella." A smirk pulled at his lips. "But y'know what? I'm not gonna. Because, while I apparently put you through so much torture, that's not what you were saying when you were pregnant with my kid. I know it's hard to remember that, I know. Times when I wasn't a douchebag, which I am now...apparently. But, I mean, when you wanted to have a kid, I'm thinkin' you couldn't have cared less if I was the father, or if it was Aaron. After you had her, you blamed everything on me. For being the reason you overdosed. And all that shit. But you know what? You have a mental disorder. There's a chemical imbalance in your brain, and you need to fucking face that. There can be "triggers" or "onsets," but I didn't cause that, okay? You accuse me of wanting sex and sex only, but I'm pretty damn sure that you were the one that wanted all of it. But, I mean, not necessarily that I was disappointed about. I'm a guy. Sex is awesome." He shrugged.


Zack licked his lips, raising an eyebrow. "But you wanna know the weirdest part? I'm pretty damn sure that I wanna kiss you right now."

[bokangavemeabeauner]

All her hard work. All the time and money she had put in to writing up those papers, and Zack just ripped them up. Like they were nothing. Like he didn't care. Nella watched as the ripped pieces fell to the floor, her mouth hanging open, to surprised to say anything.

"Zack, are you fucking kidding me?" Nella pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. By now, Nella was beyond pissed. She couldn't believe he had just done that. Why was he making everything so difficult? He was such a little drama queen. "Then what do you want me to do then, Zack? Tell Maria I was a bad mom. Like I didn't already know that. Tell her how I'm just like my dad and how I wanted to get an abortion. I'll leave Aaron. I'll tell him I can't marry him before I can fuck up his life I did yours. Maybe he'll find a nice girl like you found Rae. I'll leave you alone. If I get in my car now, it'll be the last time you'll ever see me again. Wouldn't that be fantastic?" Nella bit her lip and looked down, running her fingers through her hair. "I'll move somewhere no one will ever find me. Start all over again. Ruin some more lives, I guess. I guess that's I'm only good at, right?"

"You're crazy." Nella murmured, looking back up at him. "And I guess that's why I fell so hard for you."

[ofmiceandbrynne]

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Nella watched as Zack ripped up the Divorce papers, her mouth hung open as the ripped pieces hit the floor one by one. He had ripped them up like they were nothing to him. Nella had fucked up a lot in her life, she fucked up a lot in Zack's life too and he probably hated her right now, but, ripping up those papers? The papers that could potentially kick her out of his life forever? It was completely and utterly pointless. If he had just signed them, he would never have to see her again. He'd never hear from her, see her, he didn't even have to think about her. All he had to do was wake up next to Rae and tell her eveything Nella had heard over and over again for the past eight years. All Zack had to do was take that black ballpoint pen and write out the two words that he had been writing out his whole life. But, he didn't. Zack didn't.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Nella asked, trying her hardest not to raise her voice. After all, what good did that turn out to be before? "What do you mean 'we don't need them?' Zack what are you talking about? You're crazy!" Nella squeaked on the last word, nervously, she ran her fingers through her hair. This isn't how things were supposed to turn out. He was supposed to sign the papers and she was going to go home to Maria and Aaron like any other day.

As Zack wrapped her in his arms, Nella stiffened, too shocked by what he had said to move.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Zack." Nella whispered, a small laugh escaping her mouth. "You're crazy. You don't know Aaron like I do. I don't care what you see when you look at him but he loves me." Nella shook her head. But now, she was unsure that what she was saying was true.

All her life Nella had tried to be something that she wasn't for everyone else. Someone that they wouldn't get bored of or end up abandoing like her father had done to her. She changed her clothes, her hair, her face (Sws reference lol). Everythint. But everything Zack had just said to her made her feel like everything she had worked for was for nothing.

Nella listened and stared up at Zack as he continued going on and on about how everything she had just said minutes before was utter bullshit. Nella didn't even try to argue or defend herself, either. She knew he was right. All this time she had been amking herself out as this victim who neve did anything wrong when, that wasn't the case after all.

A little to late, Nella had reazlied that she had started crying. So much for staying strong. The tears rolle down her cheeks and began soaking in the front of Zack's polo shirt.

Wiping her eyes, Nella looked up at Zack and said, "You know what, Zack? I'm sorry. What do you want me to do? Tell Maria I was a bad mom. Like I didn't already know that. Tell her how I'm just like my dad and how I wanted to get an abortion. I'll leave Aaron. I'll tell him I can't marry him before I can fuck up his life like I did yours. Maybe he'll find a nice girl like you found Rae. I'll leave you alone. If I get in my car now, it'll be the last time you'll ever see me again. Wouldn't that be fantastic?" Nella bit her lip and looked down, running her fingers through her hair. "I'll move somewhere no one will ever find me. Start all over again. Ruin some more lives, I guess. I'm pretty good at it, aren't I?"

Nella raised her eyebrows at Zack's last comment and she couldn't help but give a half hearted laugh. "You sure know how to flirt with a gil, don't you?" Nella said, smiling and biting her lip. "Telling her everything she's ever said or done is wrong and how fucked up she is and then telling her that you really want to kiss her. How did you hook up with Rae? 'Hey I just left my wife and my daughtger and you're basically sloppy seconds, wanna fuck?' Classy, Zack. Classy."

"You're crazy." Nella murmured, looking back up at him. "And I guess that's why I fell so hard for you."

Nella bit her lip again, looking down. "Funny thing is, I think I really want to kiss you right now too." Lacing her arms around Zack's neck, Nella tangled her fingers in his hair, feeling it's familiar softness. Standing on her tinny toes, Nella kissed him. Everywehre they touched Nella felt like she was on fire. Her lips felt like they were burning.

Pulling away, reluctantly, Nella said, "Okay, I gave you what you want and now it's time for you to give me what I want."

[bokangavemeabeauner]

Christian couldn't place his finger on it. There was just something different about Juliet, there always had been. When they kissed, it felt different. Sure, when he kissed Storm he got butterflies and that little tingling feeling and all that shit that you read in books, but when he kissed Juliet, holy fuck it brought back the best memories and it brought on the best feelings. When they kissed, Christian wanted nothing more than to be closer to her. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair pull her close and collapse on the couch making out, or, even a little more than just 'making out.' Thoughts like this had gotten so out of hand that he barely even paid any attention to Storm anymore. And when he did, all he could focus on was Juliet this and Juliet that. He just couldn’t get her out of his head. It was crazy.

Then there was Storm. Sure, Christian loved her and everything, but, the way she looked at Juliet? She fucking hated her. He could see it. She was jealous of her. Storm had wanted Juliet gone from day one. Fuck, she didn’t even try to get to know Juliet. Juliet was everything and more and Storm was treating her like she was a total piece of shit- like she didn’t already get enough of them from her tight ass boyfriend. God, Christian was so jealous of her boyfriend. If he was him he would never in his life do something as stupid and go off and cheat on someone as beautiful as Juliet. Fuck, why would you even want to?

So when Storm had told him that morning that she was going to the store to buy something, he found this as an opportunity to do things with Juliet that he couldn’t with Storm around.

Juliet was sitting in the living room watching reruns of ‘Gossip Girl’ or some really girly show like that when Christian heard Storm close her car door and pull out of the driveway. A small smile crept to his lips as he walked in.

“Hey.” He said, sitting down next to her and folding his feet under him. “Hey.” She murmured with a cute little smile. “Where’s Storm going?” She asked, sitting up and moving closer to Christian. It took him everything not to just jump on her right now and kiss her until his lips were numb. “She’s just going out to run a few errands or some shit like that.” Christian shrugged and bit his lip. “I was wondering, when’s your boyfriend coming back?” Fuck, Christian just wished that wherever he was, he would just stay there. He didn’t deserve Juliet. Maybe that was just the jealous part of him talking, but from what he had been telling her, he was a total douche-bag.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d be staying here this long...and I know Storm’s getting aggravated with me staying here, you know? I feel like I’m distracting you from her. Or something crazy like that. I feel really bad. I didn’t mean to give her that impression of me.” She bit her lip and looked up at Christian. But, they both knew that she was lying. Juliet wanted him just as much as he wanted her, maybe even more. No one in their right mind would show up at someone you haven’t seen in ages door and tell them that you needed help getting your boyfriend back. Nobody. Juliet had wanted Christian from the start and it looks like she had gotten what she had come here for.

Christian picked Juliet up, putting her in his lap and wrapping her legs around his waist and his arms around hers. “Let’s not talk about Storm right now. Okay?” He smiled and trailed his fingers up and down her back. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”Christian said, biting his lip and looking up at her. “God dammit. He doesn’t deserve you. If I had you...I would do everything in my power to make you happy and more.” Christian pressed his lips to hers and pulled her closer, pressing his chest against hers. He could feel her heartbeat speed up and her fingers tangle in his hair. He wanted her. Right here. Right now. He didn’t even care if Storm would be home any minute. He couldn’t keep denying these feelings anymore. There was something between him and Juliet, there always had been.

They had fallen back on the couch, Juliet on top of Christians chest, her lipstick all over his face, his hair all out of place, her top half way off and the button of his jeans undone when Storm walked in.

“Shit.” Christian whispered, pushing Juliet off of him. “Storm, calm the fuck down we were just taking more pictures. It wasn’t anything, I swear. You know I would never do that to you.” Christian talked fast, hoping to hell and back that she believed him. But hell, he didn’t even believe him.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

"And what do you want?" Zack asked, raising his eyebrow and biting his bottom lip. "For me to sign the papers? Because, unless you haven't noticed, sweetheart, they're kind of nonexistent. I mean, unless you wanna tape them together, but I don't think Dean would take too kindly to that. If you can find a way to put them back together, be my guest. But I refuse to sign those papers until you at least attempt to resolve things. All you do is yell at me for being a fucking terrible person, and yell at me for doing everything wrong. But we all know that I'm good at quite a few things, Nella." Zack licked his lips.


"Besides, we both know I want a little more than a kiss." Zack whispered, his voice dripping with seduction.


He cupped Nella's face in his hands, pressing his lips against hers lightly. "God, you're so cute," He murmured, picking her up and sitting her on the top of the sofa, looking at her shocked face. "Don't lie to me, you want me back. Don't lie to yourself, Aaron doesn't make you happy. God, Nella, I swear. He'll never love you the way I did...and still do. I don't want to face it, but dammit, I am in love with you...oh, God, Nella." He murmured, burying his face in the crook of her neck and trailing kisses up it. "Nella."


And there they were -- lips together, no space between them. Little grunts escaping his lips now and then as he dug his hands into her back, wrapping her legs around his waist. He sighed lightly, pulling away and pressing his forehead against hers. He sighed, shutting his eyes. "I want you. I want you so bad right now." He murmured, pushing her onto the couch and laying on top of her, tracing his fingers on the outline of her collarbone which poked out. He looked at her, peering curiously and then kissing her again messily. Before he knew it, their lips were together, skin touching skin...absolutely, positively, no space between them.


...None.

A key twisting in a hole.


Click.

Squeak.


"Zack, baby, you home?" Rae's voice filled the air, and Zack's eyes immediately bolted open.


"Fuck," He murmured, sitting up, throwing a blanket over Nella, and then sitting on top of her in nothing but his boxers. Zack slipped on some socks and a beanie, sitting cross legged casually and flipping on the TV to Gossip Girls. "Hey babe, where were you? I missed you." He said, smiling up at her. She raised her eyebrows, peering at the lump under the blanket.


"Just getting the groceries. Could you get your ass up so I could get that blanket? I wanna cuddle. Plus, this is my favorite episode." He grinned at the TV.


Zack placed his hands down on the beige blanket firmly, shaking his head. "Ah, no, that won't be necessary. Um, do you really, uh, want it after my butt's been on it? Go get a clean one from upstairs." He soothed her. She sighed, but obeyed, ascending up the stairs and opening the dryer. As soon as the coast was clear, Zack threw the blanket across the room and grabbed Nella's shirt. "I'll call you later, okay? Promise." He murmured.


"Hey, Zack? What'd you put in the dryer with my new blanket? And why is it so stained?" But, before Zack could throw the blanket back over Nella, Rae looked over him, her eyes growing wide. "What the fuck is she doing here? And why is she like, half naked?!" Rae ran down the stairs, frowning down at Nella. She put her hands on her hips, and then brought a hand to Nella's face, smacking her. "That's my boyfriend, bitch."


"This isn't what it looks like, babe!" Zack yelped, standing up. "I swear. She was totally asking for it, I felt bad, okay? I feel bad now. I'm sorry, babe, what can I do to make up for it? Dinner tonight, just you and me? Or a movie? Any movie you want, even a sappy romantic one if that makes you happy." He pleaded.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

The moment Nella heard Rae walk in the door, the guilt started setting in. As right as this felt, it was totally, and completely wrong. Zack wasn’t hers to just fool around with on this couch on this Sunday afternoon. Sure, they were still legally married and there was a whole official certificate and all this paperwork that still bound them together, but, Zack was with Rae’s now. As jealous as it made her, she had to accept that fact. They had been together for over and year and she had just walked into the picture and had sex with him on her couch. In her house. With her boyfriend. No matter how much she wanted him, no matter how much he wanted her, there was nothing that made her feel better about the decision she had made.

Nella grabbed her shirt from Zack, slipping it on over her head and looking at Rae. Holy fuck this was embarrassing and it just made her feel even more guiltier seeing the look on her face.

Disappointed.
Betrayed.
And most of all, Pissed the fuck off.

Before Nella could say anything, Rae smacked her and then Zack was saying how this was all her fault. How she came on to him, how he felt bad for her and all of that shit.

And honestly? Nella never felt this worse in her whole life. Not even when Zack had left her a year ago. Today, after hearing him saying that he wanted her and that he still loved her, saying he only felt bad for her and that it was a mistake. That’s what made it all the more worse.

“I’m uh, I’m sorry.” Nella whispered, buttoning her jeans and grabbing her jacket. “Sorry.” Nella pushed past Zack, not even bothering to look at him. This was a mistake. Coming here was a mistake. Today was a mistake. She should have never even gotten that lawyer, or filed for a divorce. Fuck, if she hadn’t she probably wouldn’t have ended up having sex with Zack today. She wouldn’t have ended up possibly ruining their relationship- not to mention her and Aaron’s.

Aaron.

Nella sat in her car, the sound of You Me At Six drifting out of the speakers and her mind going back to her own boyfriend- her fiancé. What would she tell him? How would she even begin to explain what had happened today? Fuck, would he even care? The way Zack had described Aaron, Nella would have guessed that he would be thrilled to have a reason to get rid of her.

Unlocking the door to her house, Nella flicked on the lights. It’d be an hour before Aaron came home from work, and Maria was still being babysat by the girl down the street. She had plenty of time.

Nella ran up to her room, quickly grabbing a few pairs of shirts and jeans, socks and shoes, bras and thongs and throwing them into the closet bag she could find.

She would make this easy for Aaron. An easy way out. She’d be gone before he even got home and then he’d never have to worry about her again. Zack wouldn’t. Rae wouldn’t. She’d be out of their hair by midnight.

Nella hopped down the stairs, bag slung over her back. As she hit the last step, Nella began twisting the silver band off of her ring finger. Aaron should give this to a girl he actually loved, not a girl he felt sorry for. Like Zack had said, she had only been fooling herself and she was too blind to see that he didn’t really want her around. Sure, being with him was fun but she never got the same feeling she got with Zack when she kissed him. She never felt as warm and tingly when his bare skin touched hers, or when his lips skimmed her neck. Fuck, she was missing Zack already and it hadn’t even been two hours.

Nella had gone a year without him and in ten minutes, she had fallen back in love with him again. But, the question was, had she really fallen ‘out’ of love with him? Or was she just trying to convince herself that she shouldn’t love him anymore?

Shaking her head, Nella placed the ring on the table, biting her lip. Aaron deserved more than a ring and not a single goodbye or explanation. But fuck, Nella was running out of time.

Nella got in her car, throwing her bag in the passenger’s seat and pulling out of her driveway. Half an hour later, Nella was at the airport.

She had a ticket for Arizona (idk why I put that omfg) and it was boarding in the next twenty minutes. No one would be able to figure out where she was in twenty minutes. Even if they did, it would be too late. They would never get here in time anyways.

As Nella sat down in the cars, waiting until the plane started boarding, her phone started playing ‘If These Sheets were the States’ Nella knew that it was Zack. That was their song. She had never really gotten around to change it after they had broken up.

“What?” Nella asked, answering the call.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

"Well, shit." Storm murmured, laughing nervously and running her fingers through her hair. "Oh, well uh...yeah. Pictures. I get it. Serious business, I guess -- I get it." She repeated, clutching the bag tighter between her fingers. No. She didn't get it, she cared -- but, Storm also saw how Christian looked at Juliet. He loved her. He'd never looked at her like that, and it almost made her feel like...maybe she should go back to Cameron, he'd tell her he loved her, he'd kiss her -- he'd love her, and only her. She wouldn't have to worry about walking into the living room, and seeing him making out with another girl on the couch. She'd sit at home, taking care of their daughter, drinking too-cold coffee and talking to her friends. Her husband would come home, and she'd make dinner -- and, although she knew her feelings for Cameron weren't genuine -- she thought that, maybe that'd be the better choice. Even though she wouldn't be happy, at least things would be in place. Maybe she'd start a real family, have another kid with Cameron, finally get married and grow old. She wouldn't be happy, but, dammit, even if things didn't make sense, at least she'd have things in place.


"Honestly, Christian? I hate to say it, but I don't really know anymore. I don't even give a fuck if it's more than pictures. Just...just uh, have fun, okay?" She threw him a fake smile, and nodded, biting her lip. "I'm gonna go take a nap or something, I guess. I don't know. But if you guys wanna move into the bedroom, I can go back out or something. Or go to my friend's house. Uh, have fun. S-sorry."


Storm trudged into the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed and sobbing quietly. Those weren't just pictures. They didn't even have a camera, much less a fucking phone to take the pictures. She knew it when she saw Christian, she saw how much he loved Juliet. And, honestly, leaving seemed like the better option. She could leave and stop fucking things up -- Christian and Juliet could fall in love all over again, and not have to give the shitty excuse of "pictures" anymore. They could just sit on the couch and make out all day, and not have to worry about Christian's pain-in-the-ass girlfriend anymore. She'd be gone. And, really? Maybe it'd be even better if Storm just hung herself, here and now. But, she couldn't do that. She was too much of a wimp to just try to end it, because every time she did, she just ended up failing.


So she opened up her laptop, checking flight times. She didn't give a fuck where she went, just away from here. Because, even though she fucking hated Christian right now, he deserved to be happy. He deserved to be happy with his life, even if it wasn't with Storm -- even if it was with Juliet, or even somebody else -- he deserved it. Because Storm loved him, but right now, she knew the feeling wasn't mutual. She threw all of her stuff, her entire life into a backpack and shoved her phone in her pocket. He doesn't need me anymore. And, no use in killing myself, that'd be a waste of a perfectly good noose.


She walked into the living room, and saw something that told her she did have to leave -- Juliet collapsed on the couch, the TV playing on mute. She was curled up to Christian, laying on his bare chest and breathing lightly from her nostrils. Christian held her, asleep, his arm around Juliet with the tiny trace of a smile on his face. Juliet made him happy, and that was really all Storm needed -- to know he'd be happy without her.


She tiptoed across the room, closing the door and getting into the car and driving to the airport. She peered at the digital display, picking the flight that leaved soonest. She walked up to the counter with no hesitation, paying for the ticket and running to the gate -- almost missed it. And she boarded that plane, leaving behind everything. And, before she knew it, the plane was taking off, and she had no idea where she was going but she didn't even care. She just had to get away.

[ofmiceandbrynne]

After a hell of a lot of pretending to explain to Rae, she had kicked me out and Zack was in the car. He had nowhere to go besides my old house, aka the house Nella had sort of claimed as her own even though he was still paying the mortgage for it. And, you know what the sad part was? Nella probably didn't even realize that he was paying for it. Hell, she always lived a sheltered life -- living with her mom, then with Zack, then with Aaron -- she probably didn't even know what a mortgage was. He'd always payed it for her, though -- she'd never sold it, so Zack continued to silently pay it for her, even though he struggled with it. He payed for it because he loved her.


As he sat in the car, he sighed, taking out his phone. She'd kind of rushed out of there, and Zack felt bad not calling Nella back -- apologizing, telling her he really was sorry, that he would sign the papers. So I dialed her number, and after 4 and a half rings, she picked up with a sassy, "What?"


I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Listen, Nella. Where are you? Let's go down to Dean's office, I'll go sign the papers if it'll make you happy. Okay? Just...just meet me there, okay? I won't complain or anything. I'll sign all of it with no question." There was a light sigh on the other end. Suddenly, a loud voice boomed on the other end.


"Flight twenty-three to Arizona boarding in 30 minutes. Please be at your gate." Nella gasped, and then shushed me, telling me it was okay, she was okay, everything was fine. There was some static on the other end, and then it went dead. And, then, I made the connection.


Nella was at the airport...and she was leaving. To Arizona.


I had 30 minutes. I ran back to Rae's, ignoring her yells and grabbing my clothes, shoving it into a duffel and speeding to the airport. I had to get her, that was when I realized -- I needed her. I couldn't let her go, I didn't want to sign those papers. I couldn't. I wanted, no, I needed Nella back. I sped to the airport, and once I had gotten to the gate, my ticket in hand...everyone had boarded, and the gates were almost closing. I handed my ticket to the attendant, running down and rattling the hallway (idek what it's called ugh) and getting into the plane, ignoring the attendant that asked to have a picture. I double-checked my ticket for my seat, and walked down the aisle, ignoring the stares as I entered the plane alone. And then I saw my seat -- the only empty seat in the entire plane...next to Nella.



I slipped on my sunglasses, even though it wasn't sunny and putting on a beanie and shoving my hair into it, hopefully making me less recognizable. I plopped down into the seat, immediately staring down at a magazine about cars (which I really had no interest in anyway) as I peeked at Nella. "Boyfriend problems?" I asked, attempting to deepen my voice. "I can see it. I'm havin' girlfriend problems. Sucks, doesn't it?" I chuckled, tucking a stray piece of hair back into my beanie. "I slept with some chick I'm not even supposed to love anymore, my girlfriend caught me -- ah, I'm in a whole pile of shit. I'm tryna find her, the girl I slept with -- I love her. I left her, I was a massive douche, but I love her, yanno? I guess love makes you do crazy things. Like spend $300 on a plane ticket to a place you don't wanna go looking for a girl you never should've left in the first place. Anyway, what's your story? Travelin', or as dramatic as mine? Bet it's not as dramatic as mine." Zack remarked, licking his finger and turning the page in the magazine.

[bokangavemeabeauner]

He’d sign the papers. No arguments, no annoying Dean, not complaining about how hungry he was, he’d sign the papers. It was like this afternoon didn’t even happen. All the shit he had said to her meant nothing at all. Leaving made just that much more sense, now. He wanted to get rid of her. Just one more time, right? One more time to see what he’d be missing. Not much, right?

Nella sighed, “Zack, I have to go. Don’t worry. I’m alright. Just, I have to go. Again, tell Rae I’m sorry about everything and she won’t have to worry about me anymore.” Nella hung up, biting her lip. Could she make this anymore obvious? There was no doubt in her mind that he had heard the boarding call, great timing right? It didn’t matter; he would never get here in time. The airport was over half an hour away and you needed about ten minutes to get through security. He would never make it, even if he wanted to.

Who said he even was going to come anyways? He seemed pretty distraught and guilty when Rae walked in. Like he regretted it. It should have never happened. Nella should have never had let it happen. But no matter how much she didn’t want to admit it, Nella loved Zack. She loved the way his lips felt on her skin, she loved the way he could make her smile even when she was pissed off, she loved that he knew anything and everything about her, she loved everything about him. The way he complained when his bacon wasn’t cooked just right, or when his mountain dew was to flat, not to mention how excited he got when a new episode of Degrassi came on. He would force her to sit down with him and watch it, even though Nella could care less about what was happening with Eli and whoever the hell he was fucking now. And how he cried because no one realized that that lesbian chick didn’t really want to fuck her boyfriend she wanted to fuck her best friend. Over the past year, it was the little things that made Nella miss Zack more and more. The little things that Aaron didn’t have. How he smelled like hairspray and mint, how he always had to have chocolate milk with his cookies and not regular. The little things that had annoyed her before just made her end up missing him even more than imaginable.

As Nella sat down on the plane, she looked out the window, at the city she had grown up in and started a family in, how she was leaving it all behind. Like it had never happened.
Nella didn’t even bother looking at man as he sat down next to her. Not even when he had started talking to her.

“Is it possible it might be more dramatic than yours or no?” Nella bit her lip and looked down at her hands. Telling a complete stranger about all the shit that had happened? What did she have left to lose?

“My husband left me over a year ago. Yeah, I’m way to fucking young to be married and we both realized it way too late. I filed for divorce a couple of weeks ago because I thought I was finally ready to move on with this guy who, surprise, didn’t even love me. But anyways, I go over my husbands house today to get him to sign the papers and we slept together, he told me how much he loved me and wanted me and I believe it because even after all the time we had been separated, I still love him too. But he had found a new girlfriend and god, I can’t stand the thought of taking him away from her. You should have seen her face when she saw me on that couch with him. Even though I fucking hate to admit it, I still love him, I do and leaving him and everything behind is probably the best thing for everyone right now, I guess, if that even makes any sense.” Nella bit her lip looking over at the man.

She raised her eyebrows, “Wait, do I know you?” Nella asked, tilting her head to the side. “Fuck, Zack is that you?”

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